When words are never enough, there is nothing else to say but I love you.

 - Shereen Leung

Dear You, 

Any time that is, I'll always be awake for you.

(so just text me if you need to reach me)

Greatest love, 

Me. 

I'm not the kind to let my feelings show.

who says holidays don't have stress? 

who says holidays mean cannot feel grumpy?

who says?

i got so irritated by the school's system today morning.

(i think everyone else was also)

i mean seriously, why can't they just use paper and pen.

you wait for an hour for just one page to load? what nonsense is this.

then you just sit there and get annoyed staring at the blank page. 

how great la, three more subjects in the next sem.

something is really wrong with the education system. 

and then i was late for project meetup, and i cancelled meetup with ruby cos i was late,

and i went home again after stepping out cos i forgot to bring my extra important phone. 

but it's dying on me, boohoo.

reached the library and rotted for an hour, did project for like 30 min and rotted again.

rot for what? i'm supposed to have an interview at 2pm in school. 

but apparently the queue was super long so decided to go there much later since makes no difference. so did project and rotted at the library for super long.

i had nothing to do, really literally nothing. so just sat there with the rest and stare at my phone. haha totally retarded.

to think that shiyu can still tell me "enjoy in your lovey dovey world".

haha, not funny -.- 

and the interview also a waste of time. 

some people went there at 2 until 5 also haven't got called la, super pitiful.

i went there at like 430, within an hour i was done already :) 

crapped my way through though, tried smiling but can't bring myself to do so.

maybe i did la, but i don't think i really mean it one. 

nothing made me smile today ah, sad.

&&& i don't wanna do work anymore already.

enough is enough. shall stop and really rest and relax now.

although only left like a few days but whatever!

actually i like this feeling of having no heavy and draining workload to do.

so relaxed and stress free. although not gonna last long but at least i feel better man.

even though i'm just slacking here resting...doing nothing like that. haha! 

and i've been sleeping late lately.

aw thinking of that, do you miss my waking ups? :D 

i think i'm so nice sometimes...

or rather all the time :P 

Are you..?

Heart's condition:

a) bad shape 

b) empty

c) incomplete

d) all of the above 

Mind's condition:

a) missing you 

b) thinking about you 

c) always having you

d) all of the above

Soul's condition:

a) longing for you with utmost desire

b) believing in you with unlimited faith

c) still as strong here loving you with everlasting love

d) all of the above 

Overall condition:

a) love you

b) need you

c) miss you 

d) want you

e) all of the above 

Obviously, it's all all of the above. 

i think i should just go mia right, 

abandon my blog and go anti myself. 

just kidding. 

despite being already moodless and moody and every sad word you can find in the dictionary,

seeing G's email didn't make things better in any way.

gosh, his reply was like an essay(no wonder he's a lecturer in mass comm).

to be the most frank, really sian. 

went for my health appointment today.

totally waste of my time. 

anyway i realised nurses in singapore cmi. really cmi.

and the appointment lady at the desk counter has attitude problem. i don't like her.

after that went to taka, shopped around.

i think the best place i'd love to go in the future is to go buy furniture :D 

well anyway, yeah bought some stuffs and had dinner there. 

sleeping is the best la, seriously.

Cure me if you would.

look at the time! i'm still awake! 

ok i'm supposed to be like dreaming by now, 

but somehow i got hungry so i went to eat.

sighhh i think i gained 1kg or smth already...

aiya whatever...when you really have nothing to do, just EAT. 

uh okay doesn't mean i have nothing to do.

i'm officially left with my two econs articles! yays.

but unofficially left with...much more things. ahem, yes but oh well!

so gonna complete them tmr if not i've no time already. 

sigh ok la i think i should go and sleep now.

my eyes cannot make it alr...and my soul is like drifting away. 

ok whatever. goodnight, i'll wake up three days later.

HAHA just kidding. 

so, so much. 

So long...so long.

Zen me ban arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! 

1. went for haircut

2. nonya buffet with parents and two of mum's friends

3. i want to go to a peaceful and scenic place 

4. trying to complete my iht today

5. i want to sleep 

p.s/my mum's friend said i looked sophisticated ok. Hahaha! 

Ain't feeling well now :( 

pain pain go away. 

zoo pictures:

(only humans and a pic of animal here)

Even at the end of the day, it's still you that matters most. 

long day... feel so tired now. 

doubt i have the energy and mood to do work alr.

wahaha? ok shouldn't laugh, it isn't a good thing. 

went to the zoo today! with my ex-classmates.

there were ten of us who went, weiqin and yiling and choonlan didn't join us though. 

there was this noob woman who didn't know how to use a camera properly la.

xiaolong brought his pro cam there la so amusing, but went flat cos he didn't charge it -_-"

so uh, we covered almost the whole place except for maybe a quarter of it we didn't go.

weather was warm despite the constant rains recently though.

not bad la, the animals were all kinda nice to look at(except for those ugly ones). 

don't know why sometimes when you see animals you feel happier also,

they just look so innocent and naive la.

lazing around everyday getting super lots of attention by people and being admired at most of the time. 

the lion was cool la, fierce enough. i like. lol.

plus the cheetah/leopards... fierce enough also.

halfway through we went to some kiddy place(gosh) to grab a bite at KFC.

constantly being bumped by little kids luh, don't know why.

and i was "molested" by a boyboy la! he touched my leg while he was walking blindly -.-

andre was laughing like mad when he saw -.- 

okay he's just like less than five yrs old, so nevermind he's still very innocent k. 

he didn't hold my hand good enough already. lol. 

then we were supposed to play some game after eating.

and for crying out loud it was planned that the sabo-ed person is not me!

due to some faults with the players i became the victim la! (roars) 

and i had to go do that stupid forfeit, i knew junhao felt guilty.

haha oh well it's fine la, not really your fault also. count junyi lucky lo. 

then after the whole thing went to ben&jerry's and ended the day off. 

will upload pictures when i got them, i don't know where are they anyway. 

oh, i miss upper seletar reservoir and lower pierce reservoir. & keppel bay too.

i knew and recognised the roads and everything on the way there.

haha such things... they stay in my mind forever :)

Aww my. 

got the biggest sweet surprise of the year.

LOVE YOU ARRR :D 

idoidoido

distance is no barrier

doyoudoyoudoyoudoyoufeelwhatifeeeeeeeeel?

woke up later today morning, but got woken up by msgs anyway. 

was busy doing ppt, then went to school for some admin stuffs.

saw yg on the way and he was so shocked, saw yx in the library and he was shocked as well. 

got so shocking meh? 

anyway, did my stuffs then lenny rk yj and me went to tm.

met up with the rest of the class for our lunch gathering at swensens. 

so ya, quite overwhelming cos there are so many people,

but we sat two separate rows of tables. 

ate and crapped around with sansan beside me, making me listen to all her funny ringtones.

then ended up everyone came over and we had a mini game.

kinda disgusting actually lol. 

den went to have meeting with my project group people at starbucks after lunch. 

kinda demoralised cos i forgot how to fold straw hearts already :( 

but nevermind one day i'll remember hahaha. 

anyway yea, the guys took the same bus with me back after. 

things to do:

econs articles, fb and iht trends. 

ugh sucks. 

please just wake up and think properly.

sorry but i'm numb already. 

if you really don't cherish then forget it. 

once bitten twice shy. i didn't like that.

open your eyes and don't be so blind.

do you really think what is everything to you is really everything?

okkkkkk gotta do work alr.

taken yesterday. 

" Everything i think, i do, and i feel is all about you. "

one of  your heartfelt sentence i love best, you know?

my morning was fine.

had cell, celebrated yuhui's birthday.

had service, accompanied hj back to sk.

met up with friends at sk starbucks. 

did up apel lesson halfway, had lunch and left. 

went home and slept.

mum: why she so tired and sian?

cousin: dunno, she sleeping beauty.

mum: maybe she never eat.

okay this is damn hilarious. 

got woke up for dinner, and i felt super nua.

don't know why very tired and sian. sigh. 

i think cos i sian then become very tired.

like really, i could sleep until tmr. i'm so tired and i just want to sleep. 

i literally just stoned while eating luh, like some zombie eating. 

then bomb back onto the bed, but dragged myself out of it anyway. 

i do projects until i don't want to do already lar!

suddenly turned off. lol my evil side coming out.

really k, i'm so irritated by the amount of workload. 

i just want to sleep and sleep my days off. 

not like as if i don't have enough things on my mind now: 

- i've to do and do keep doing projects

- still experiencing budget deficit 

- feeling speechless and getting upset over a bond i cherished so much 

- i'm constantly thinking and wondering about you; i just simply miss you 

- trying to be busy and occupied despite the busy schedule i have still?

- i'm very deprived of sleep(maybe not but i feel like it)

sigh.

the days are still so long,

and it seems like taking forever.

Ultimately, it's the heart that never lies. 

big yawns. 

went to the pc show today with my cousin cos she needed to get something. 

so tempted to upgrade and change my desktop laaa. 

but should be next year if i'm really going to do so. 

but right now i gonna get my protection pack first. 

lunched at suntec in newyork then went to carrefour for some food shopping.

got home, rested awhile den had our fondue dinner with nachos and burgers LOL. 

watched two movies indoors and that's my saturday.

i sound like i'm some emo pig eating so much like there's no tmr right...

i'm surely going to gain weight...but i guess panther's owner is going to gain more.

cos there's no one to share food with me and no one to share food with him either. haha! 

maybe la i guess...just maybe. i don't know. 

sigh, food madness. holidays are just to make me eat and gain weight. 

ok i confess that i didn't do much work today :(

sigh, told you i can't be rotting or stoning away with nothing to do already. 

oh well...

gonna game soon la i swear :D 

but i need to find my biaoge first. 

It isn't just another three words, 

it's from the bottom of my heart. 

Are you dreaming of me? 

:(

woah so bloated now :( 

had bbq just now at bishan.

ate so much drank so much but still sober now. 

hahaha no la just kidding. 

i ate almost all the otahs la -.- everyone said it's too spicy. 

but the place was pretty nice though, woods plus the leaves. lol.

and some cat down there came to "join" us. 

almost everyone was scared though...and i'm like not scared anymore. hahaha. 

but she so ke lian uh, joshua kept bullying her. 

& i'm not potential ah lian ok :( eleena said i was quite gentle lor! 

i think i shouldnt be too fierce sometimes in the tone i use right.

and then i was called a mouse -_-" 

aiya whatever, so landed up reaching home at like 1030pm...

cos earlier on it was raining and we started late and there was so much food. 

at least finally there's one day i spent half of my day relaxing totally. 

just go there rot and eat and talk crap. 

ok i'm tired, goodnight world. 

i'm just like trying to spend my time and days away so times like these will pass by faster.

today is such an effective day. hahaha! 

things completed:

- comm skill questionnaire 

- rht questionnaire 

- iht field trip report 

- econs economic indicators 

so glad la :) 

the above are ALOT okay.

things to do:

- iht trends/challenges

- apel

- econs newspaper article 

- f&b tutorial assignment 

awaiting things: 

- iht impacts 

- iht intro 

- comm skill background info

- questionnaires approval 

byebye :D 

I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind.

I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time.

It gets hard but it won't take away my love. 

i think next time i better not have evening naps. 

woke up so reluctantly cos i still need to do some work,

and so many disturbances in between. 

i'm so going to wake up late tmr!!! 

went to school today again. 

thank goodness i don't have to go there until monday liao! :D 

but i sorta forget the days already, just living each day without even recognizing what day is it now. hahaha ok that's bad right.

met yixian on the bus so we chatted on the way to school today morning. 

he thought i was some single pointer la, so amusing.

busy, busy, busy. 

i hope i can finish most of my stuffs tmr though.

I WANT TO GAMEEE. 

i think i have this mindset of staying up as late as possible.

HAHA oh my gosh. 

i mean like really laaaaa, i wished i could just sleep and sleep so days would pass by faster.

but then all these works and projects also hindering me to sleep in peace. 

& it feels weird without the accompany for now. 

pom project iht project fieldtrip report commskill proj rht project apel lesson f&b assignment econs proj = siansation to the level of the bottomless pit. 

sigh x infinity. 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW COOKIE MONSTER? 

aiya do your work la shereenleung.

Nothing compares to you

How enjoyable can things be?  

you, of course yes. 

i thought i should be keeping myself busy this holiday, 

but apparently things had alr always been busy. not funny manz. 

another project day... forced myself out of bed cos i couldn't get up :( 

so spent the day in school with the four of them doing work. 

hmm can't think of anything else interesting or significant though.

i just know i had been serious and my mind is always thinking. 

& i tell you it sucks when you need to go to the toilet but you only can do so after an hour cos your travelling time home is an hour -.- 

totally madness. 

mum: you ate alr is it? 

me: no? 

mum: then why you eat until like as if it's so awful! 

me: aiya i thinking of things la.

mum: thinking of what things...nan ren ah!

& i guess this is the most and this is the max already.

i got home at like nearly ten? 

ok super tired now k. 

today was not so much of doing work.

went out with my family for super belated mother's day and super advanced dad's day. 

can't blame, but at least i do spend time with them :) 

but always will have conflict everytime -.- sigh, to used until numb alr. 

so yeah, they ate their favourite chinese food which is wad i least favour,

but oh well, just eat since is i pay. LOL.

went to shop around at marina then suntec to get some stuffs. 

but missed the GSS due to time, and i gotta do work also. 

reached home, had dinner and met up with people too. 

really too many things happening around...gosh. 

just thinking of school work is headache already.

plus all the other bits and pieces, so overwhelmed by everything. 

protection pack cost $59 :( 

damn i'm gonna get it one day, i need it for the sake of my macbook love. 

super sian cos i'm still up doing research and stuffs. 

i think my sleeping schedule is so irregular. 

it's nearing twelve and i'm still here awake. 

hmm can't get to sleep? or body don't want to sleep? 

ha, don't know. bed's tempting but work's empowering. 

ok got stuffs to do, shall stop blogging here. 

Time may revolve at its different phase, 

but two hearts as one beat just in one way.

The distance of fourteen.

I think I've lost weight.

project today, nothing much. 

got a new nickname by rk and i repaired lenny's phone.

hahaha i'm so professional :P 

i told him "everything goes fine only through me". 

haha this is something call ego. 

was out during the night and had "supper" before going home. 

talk-out at coffee shop and stuffs.

ok but i admit that it was quite anti-climax of me to laugh at something suddenly.

can't blame uh. potato chips plus beer?

brain cells all used up today, sigh. 

ok i think i should sleep early right... but so many things on my mind :( 

so many things yet to do and no time and no time. 

although i really hope time could pass faster but urgh. 

i'm tired...i think i should sleep. 

and thanks for that msg tonight dearest, didn't expect a second one. 

goodnight :)

& SHEREEN PLEASE DO YOUR REPORT AND IHT TMR. 

Ironical enough to be waking up as usual when it's supposed to be short term holiday -.- 

Pros of two week term break: 

• Rest and relaxation :) 

Cons of two week term break: 

• my two weeks are packed by all projects! 
• still got to go back to school 
• doesn't seem to have ALOT of time to sleep anyway 
• more nagging from mum? 
• experiencing budget deficit 

Whatever, there is still such thing as work and more work. 

Things for Shereen to do: 

1. please finish up your report within a few days 
2. finish up projects ASAP and CHILL
3. dad's lunch 
4. health appointment
5. haircut maybe 
6. outing with secclique 
7. BBQ 
8. mandy's stuffs 
9. learn something if have time 
10. pack your room someday when you're free 
11. polish peretti 
12. go k if have time 
13. accompany and take care of panther 
14. interview & CYA form 
15. buy the necessary stuffs you've yet to get 

Refrains: 

1. stop looking or thinking of touching your phone so often 
2. stop having that thought of yours and thinking too much 
3. please sleep as much as you can so tomorrow can come faster 
4. try not to owl, be it at home or outside 
5. stop having questions in your mind 

Ok, i feel so lame. 

Ah, oh well... time to start engine. 

& till then; 

in mind, in heart, in soul.

really sbd. 

One more month to 7 July :) 

Anyway, was late for cell today morning.

& what was worse is that i got so horribly lost. 

Sigh after like walking for half an hour then decided to cab there cos i was like very far away from the expected place. 

Ok fine, i admit that i'm a lu chi then. 

but i seriously don't know that place lor :( 

then we were all late for service cos we ended late,

had to be outside until they had finish communion. 

so corn was also outside tsk-ing us cos he was doing ushering. 

hey, not our fault la! 

so sermon today was about :

1. I'll do it for you

2. I'll show Hesed to you

3. I'll be committed to you 

super enlightening la, although i didn't have any intention to pay attention but somehow just got into my head(sigh i think i should not be so bad anymore right.) 

Ok, apparently i have LOTS of things to do and settle and plan uh! 

sigh making my mind in a hectic status. 

projects and more projects, rawrrr! 

no much mood to start working today, sian :( 

so maybe start real work tmr and onwards. 

who says having school break means joy? ridiculous! 

i want to go i want to go i want to go i want to go anywhere and everywhere,

i wish to go i wish to go i wish to go i wish to go anywhere and everywhere,

i don't mind i wont mind i never mind i will not mind anywhere and everywhere,

just with you.

do you really think so?

maybe it will if you're enjoying everyday. 

just got home half an hour ago. 

another tiring day. 

see, this is call the childish + the mature one. Ha!

goodnight. 

just got home at 9plus. 

super tired.

ANYWAY. 

The two week break is here!
:) + :( 

It sucks big time cos NOW, when you buy a macbook you get a free ipod touch.

What's the problem with apple manzxz?!?!?!?! 

Can't wait for 12pm to come! Mwhahaha.

i'm very sian, thanks to rht.

Gosh. 

RHT is siansation. 

Haha goodnight :)  

Ok, but that loudness still rings. 

sigh.

Things always happen out of innocence. 

like seriously, i didn't know. 

Morning earthlings! 

i feel like my blog's getting pretty empty and boring lately.

hehe cause somehow i guess i don't really wanna write out so much like before.

and well sometimes there's nothing significant to write about also...

i mean come on, afterall since it's for memorial purposes, then should write something more meaningful. 

OKAY TIME TO STUDY.

RHT! 125 pages. 

econs is over. 

&i don't have anything more to say. 

My everlasting support and presence will always be here :)

poor brain cells of mine.

pom is over, :) 

Econs next. 

Smile, for it has always mean a lot to me :) 

was at west coast with the children ministry in church today morning. 

weather was superbly hot today k, i was perspiring like raindrops. 

and it's been ages since i last "exercised" man.

but anyway i think the children enjoyed themselves,

especially with the presence of me&co(called as the ancient people by them -_-) 

me? hard core mugger? HA. 

Whatever, it's coming june the next morning. 

i'm seriously hoping this year would faster come to an end or something, 

although time is passing by fast enough now(cos it's like alr june),

but you know...i think i'd prefer the month of sept and onwards. 

June's Resolutions: 

1. study hard and do well for mid sem! 
2. complete all my projects during two-week break! 
3. health appointment 
4. get quite a number of things
5. gaming! 
6. outings/events/meet-ups/hangouts 
7. family day-out 
8. learn to do something 
9. save money(if possible cos i would be spending this month)
10. endure two weeks with faith and develop more love! 

ok i guess my two weeks will be packed enough... 

if not i'll fill them with more or just sleep or just game my days away. 

should i be looking forward to this month? 

what to do? DAYS HAVE TO COME AND THEY WILL GO. 

hohoho ok back to studying. 

go shereen go.

I spent my day studying.

That's all, how cool was that.

Whatever you do, I'll always be right here with you.

my morning was horrible. 

i don't wanna hide this k, i'm being very honest. 

i think we all would agree and know why. 

say me fierce or angry or stress, whatever that is. 

i'm just being serious and i just feel very frustrated with how things are going k.

lunched with ruby&andre and went home.

at least, getting out of that situation makes me feel a little better.

i'd rather study for my midsem rather than to be in that not-here-nor-there issue. 

i don't know what's wrong with this ok, i never had problems like these. 

ok, maybe you can blame it on the given task. 

i've no mood for projects now. 

after exams then i'll use my damn boring holiday to finish the whole load of projects and get it over and done with. 

Have a good break and rest well! 

& I'll always be behind you through it all :) 

I'm glad that pom tutorial ended at 5. 

Ended my day in a nicer way.

Ok anyway, like seriously, i'm provoked to score well for the next iht test! 

yeah i'm so going to. no doubt. 

I was playing rk's itouch TapTap music game today. 

it's nice. i like it. 

Apel lesson was enriching. i love it ok. 

talked about goals in key areas of life today, 

and ended with a video talking about Love.

very valued. and then Cp told us an incident and she nearly teared :O 

don't know why but alanna teared later on also. 

see, touching lessons k. 

Mid sem tests are coming up, so gotta study hard already. 

i miss snoopy marshies, haha :) 

Cast your troubles away and feel my love. 

For my everlasting presence here will only makes life better.

Smile if you feel it :) 

ok, what a test that was. 

oh well, at least it's over. 

so time to study for midsem tests! 

see, stress level never seem to be reducing in any way. 

ok i'm damn tired! 

goodnight. 

you're the only one that i can be truly myself to. really.

& you should be like me too :) 

by the power of love, nothing can separate us in heart. 

absolutely nothing. 

this long break i'm having sucks can...

no lecture and i end up here like a mad person doing nothing.

(trying to get something into my head while reading through these notes actually). 

sigh 4pm doom time. 

i miss you too.

had always been.

no motivation. 

i'm tired and i have so much to study for. 

sigh, don't feel like saying anything today. 

just that it's amusing when people said i looked like some teacher today,

but has that serious-yet-seem-gentle aura? -_-" 

sometimes things do get upsetting. 

but oh well, nevermind. 

was perspiring like raindrops after i stepped out of the school.

everywhere is scorching hot and well, whirlwind of emotions. 

met up with bestfr coincidentally and went home. 

there goes another sian day. 

even people around me are saying that i'm not like me. 

they say i don't speak like i usually do and i don't act in a manner that i usually am.

ha, oh well. too stressed, everyone is anyway. 

everything just sucks. 

but at least there i was, delivering all my all. 

in school now.
really, very, moodless.

yj thought i woke up from the wrong side of bed.
i was telling her how much everything sucks.
and damn, coming to school doesn't reduce any stress in me.
everyone around me is feeling so frustrated and stressed up and troubled. i'm no exception.
except that i'm feeling far worse than everyone else is.
totally.

but then, my stand remains.
everything i feel and think about always remain.

ok logging out.

Today will be better, & you can be assured that every part of my being will still be always here caring for ya. 

Standing by you is not only for the moment, but for forever. 

:) ?

i did it again. 

i feel really very sad when you're like that. 

it really pains me. 

take time, i really hope to see you fine.

i'll be here, always here for you. 

goodnight. 

'cause you alone matters; how you are affects how i am, too. 

& my heart's longing for you to be fine. 

i really pity my eyes.

monotone mood, monotone day. 

everything is just a straight line. 

church-ed, pentecost sunday today. 

nothing much anyway.

had been listening to No One all day long for the past few days. 

my cousin must have thought i was really weird everytime she enters the room and the same song kept playing. 

before this song was TakeABow, wonder what would be next. 

and i hope i've at least had a little effect in comforting. 

ok i'm so deprived of sleep.

bye i'm going to church. 

i'm getting more and more emo. damn it. 

i don't know what's with my life now. 

school is really stressful, all these works can just drive the hell out of me. 

and so many things are running inside me. 

it's just... feelings that words can never explain enough. 

maybe i'm good at suppressing sometimes. 

freaking tired. 

today sucked. period. 

was at home the whole day trying to struggle with my tiredness and sch work and concerns.

i really feel and worry and care... constantly thinking and hoping,

cos it simply aches me knowing how much things are for you.

it gets hard sometimes saturating in the unknowns and yet trying to do the best and the most within capabilities... yearning to just provide at least some sense of comfort in this indirect manner. 

even with silence, my soul reaches as far as it is to you, standing by and staying by you. 

once again, really hope you'd be fine alr or so.

alright, things would get better as the sun rises tmr. 

at least, i'd always be the sunshine you'll see and the warmth you'll feel. 

goodnight. 

i basically rotted my day away today...until now. 

sigh, useless me. 

can't even be efficient in doing work. 

mei you yong. 

i'm very tired and i don't know why. 

sigh. 

just another day like that, passing by aimlessly. 

i just hope you'd feel better in time...

and for things to be getting fine.

'cause i really have no idea on anything over there,

i could only just feel with my heart.

my concern and presence is always here, always. 

ok great, i did it. 

can't help it, i can't control anymore, 

too much suppression inside. 

it reached me very, very deeply.

emotions travel far, really far.

cause i'd never want to see you this way.

for once i really felt so paralyzed...

lost for words, lost for everything. 

sigh, why am i so emotional. 

when you fall, i fall with you. 

but my hand will always be there to pick you up. 

Sigh?

very blue today, top to bottom.

i seriously feel so useless and helpless and out of reach. 

i really would want to make things better if i could. 

but the only thing that can only always be functioning is my mind and emotion-self. 

everything is just processing through my thoughts and heart.

i can finally rest a little longer cos saturday is coming. 

i'm very deprived of sleep this week. totally. 

it really sucks big time... mad tests are coming so soon. 

projects are all flying in like anything. 

and mid exams are going to be here soon too, madness. 

siansation. 

too tired to type alr. goodnight. 

I...I just know that I will always be here for you.  

& No matter what circumstances life brings,

Never will a piece of me be detached from you within. 

emotional.

I am... because you are. 

Affected too, from the moment that you were. 

and i could understand the pain and sorrow.

it sucks because such things have to happen in life. 

reality has just got to sink in.

frankly, i feel so helpless. 

i wished i could be there physically for you. 

but do know internally i am there, always. 

& school is really tiring me out. 

i'm awake cos there's no meaning if i'm asleep... 

it makes a difference. at least for now. 

Presence of silence, with love. 

very, very tired. 

tmr and friday will be too, sigh. 

was stressing over IntHt like crap,

chionged to complete studying in the library during break time.

but i got so sian till i just decided to have the whatever-will-be-will-be mentality. 

and it turned out to be so zzz. 

i didn't study the history of tourism so i made up some answer of my own but too bad didn't hit the jackpot. 

and the filling in the blanks sucked big time, i couldn't remember cos there was too much things i read about and simply went blank, so boo. 

hope at least can hit 20.

whatever, a pathetic 5% weightage -.- 

f&b presentation next, and glad it's over.

only knew that i said alot of things that i didn't even thought that i would say.  

yj: i same as my friend, i also like kb, he's dao.

me: so you saying you like me la, cos i'm quite dao leh. 

yj: if not why do you think i always stick to you?

HAHA(my self-esteem very high now), my daoness can also attract people.

not bad wor. 

me: i won't be meeting you tmr and friday cos i'm going school earlier to do projects. 

ruby: ok i'll miss you.

haha aw, nice to know that i'm missed. 

rowell: you're getting more and more evil! *hits my table* 

too bad :) 

sigh, ok still have truckloads to do. 

siansation, urgh. 

&you'd always been on my mind; 

All i know is that I'm just here thinking of how you are and how are things going. 

& I just know that I should just stay silent and be here for you. 

speechless mode. 

commskill test today morning, i took quite a long time to start my essay engine running.

had been so long since we sat like exam and do. 

i wrote like 709 words, longest essay i've ever written.

but anyway i was freezing inside, ended up having a hard time to think of conclusion,

cos mind was frozen and after-effect was having a headache. zzz. 

i'm sick of air-cons in school, seriously. 

 

sigh, so many things to do and so many things going on.

the amount of things in my mind also increasing.

thinking power also using more and more. haiz. 

i think sooner or later everyone will think that i'm always in my own world cos i'm always thinking of whatever things that's on my mind. 

i was just being serious and people like rk and sy thought i was stressed/serious.

cos rk said i looked scary when i seemed so quiet. 

this week is already sucking with so many tests consecutively.

next week is yet to suck cos there is test and it's mugging week.

next next week is going to suck alot cos it's mid exams. 

and then it goes on, my graph don't seem to be going up anytime. 

very tired,  totally moodless. 

how to study four lecture notes like that. Wth. 

Maybe silence is the best company sometimes. 

I'll keep still and stay by you like now. 

sigh, so overwhelmed by things that are happening around. 

Hope everything will turn out fine soon. 

this was what that was written on my top today: 

I'll always be beside you until the very end, wiping all your best friends. 

I'll smile when you smile & feel all the pain you do,

& if you cry a single tear, I promise I'll cry too.

don't know why so many people tried reading it.

ruby was the only one that manage to know it fully cos i read it to her, 

and she said "wow, so inspiring." 

*laughs*

no appetite today though... quite good cos can save money.

anyway, only till this day then i realised i really cannot stand wasting time. 

i mean like if you wasting time cos you got nothing to do, it's ok. 

but if time is wasted when its not supposed to, wo shou bu liao. 

yeah, i never knew that side of me until today. 

commskill test tmr.

i hope social networking would be manageable cos i don't feel like backup-ing on globalisation.

nothing much to say today either.

it's amusing to see people failing miserably over my quiz on facebook. 

yes, it's not easy to understand me. 

i feel like going back to the game world.

but can't man... i have no time to afford that. 

sucks. 

ok stop being distracted and focus on school work shereen. 

 

nothing to say, just that school work sucks. 

Feel my concern; 

for everything about you. 

Anti-climax, hahaha. 

so cute. 

Just me will be enough, 

'cause everything from me to you is the best. 

You don't need any more :D 

ok i know i'm boosting my own self esteem. 

sian, back to school work.

i admit that i really can't stand things going at a very slow rate.

anw i guess peicai moulded ex students into fierce people.

HAHA i realised most of us are the ones "scolding" when doing projects. 

deadly boring day. 

after school met up with ruby to buy some stuff and lunched. 

me: eh, your sec school(pointing to cedar sec).

ruby: ya, no la that's my primary school. 

(paused). 

ruby: eh, AREN'T WE FROM THE SAME SEC SCHOOL?!

HAHA omg i don't know what happened to me la ok!

cos i saw cedar girls' sec, then i just said those words.

ruby also blur blur say it was her primary sch when her cedar pri is not even located there.

HAHA goodness, to think that i actually didn't think that WE WERE FROM PCSS. 

so that shows when my mind's not functioning i REALLY talk crap. 

two tests and one presentation next week.

Sucks. 

Doesn't matter how much it takes...

my unlimited presence and support will always be with you. 

Even if the sky falls, you can be assured that i'll be here. 

Thanks

Thanks...it matters to me :)

I won't be fine if you're not. 

renkai was disturbing me during int tutorial & ms koh stared at him.

nice one uh. 

but anyway, there were some problems going on and stuffs...

but well at least it's over now. 

sorry to kenneth but you know, it's not intentional...just a better suggestion for all of us. 

tp bistro's brownie is nice. i like it. 

APEL WAS COOL.(yes my fav subject i repeat) 

we did a personality test today & i'm the ANGELFISH.

CP happened to walk by and saw my results.

she said i have a big contrast cos it was 13-20,

meaning that i'm pretty strong and distinct in it. hmm?

& then sansan kept calling me BORING -.-

tsk! 

Key Characteristics
Personality Preferences	Reflective & Relational
Temperamental Values	Peace & Harmony
Motivator	Security (being protected)
Concern	Disharmony (& fast pace)
Emotion to be Harnessed	Worry ('scared')
Tempering Values	Initiative (responsibility), Integrity

General Traits
Potential Strengths	Calm (gentle, mild, controlled), Peaceful (mediating), Amiable (friendly in a reserved manner), Kind, Patient (tolerant, good with routines), Easygoing (obliging, agreeable, adaptable), Cooperative (non-assertive), Contented (satisfied), Consistent (predictable), Diplomatic (tactful, inoffensive), Slow and Steady, Persistent, Good Listener, Loyal (faithful, dependable), Pleasant, Restrained (self-controlled).
Check Points	Compromising (in excess), Aimless (lacking in ambition or direction in life), Lack Initiative, Lazy, Unenthusiastic, Uninvolved (withdrawn), Indecisive, Boring (dull, plain), Over-Kan-Cheong (anxious, fearful), Worrisome, Too Slow (sluggish), Bo-Chap (indifferent), Stingy (calculating), Reluctant, Pessimistic.

I'll go through everything with you.

And you know i'll always be there; 

To support, to encourage, to listen, to cheer, to accompany...

Anything that is to make you feel better. 

Because I can, I'd give it all just for you.

It tells it all, indeed :) 

it's fun sitting beside ruby during lecture, mwhaha. 

we were slightly late today so we end up sitting together, gee. 

her book has my signature alr btw, HAHA. 

& i'm going to keep myself busy during june! will go mia-ing.  

went to lunch with friends outside school and many conversations were on.

very interesting ones. 

inthtm lecture was quite boring and sian, only thing that made me laugh was: 

"... there may be some instances when you quarrel with your boyfriend and there's this customer who greets you good morning and you just go saying "what's so good about today morning?!" " 

HA, hilarious. 

professionalism, i'm going to excel in it for all areas. hahaha! 

okay goodnight. 

i want to dream of something nice. 

I'll always be and I'll always do,
Now and forever. ♥

1. i only spent $2.20 today, ended up eating like a monster during dinner.
2. didn't bring jacket so was freezing most of the time.
3. school's internet connection sucks, so i'm never going to use it.
4. i think my fierce & serious side reveals when i'm doing project.
5. said alot of "shut up" to vegetarian, although in a nice way alr.
6. whole day spent using my brain to think, and it sucks.
7. i hope i won't dream/think of anything related to school work when i'm sleeping.

Stand by me

Thanks for standing by me :) Appreciate it. I really do.

(i really very small size meh -.-)

i was still thinking of school work when i was sleeping and dreaming over it.

ha my goodness, i think i'm stressed.

our class had our first "cheer you up" day today. 

people were all either smiling/grinning at us la -.- 

so lame, lol. 

anyway school work seems never ending...

i wonder why this course is so horrible. 

my mind's very overwhelmed by everything.

so much things to do...madness. 

sian. 

skipped rht lecture today cos i would rather spend my time on something more impt. 

afterall it's just spss, tutorial will cover it again.

wanted to come home and do work but stayed back in the library to do econs project.

renkai said i talk like bullet -.-

hello, cos i'm rushing for time k. and stop calling my chinese name.

not like as if it's nice -_-

arrr mind's bombasted with so many things.

super sian super tired. 

it's monday morning and qad is sleeping.

haha.

and i still have school :( 

told you something is seriously wrong with the education system already. 

actually we should assure ourselves. 

yeah.

days will eventually pass away, 

so just press on! 

you know i'm always here :) 

& i realised,  it's my selfish thought. 

alright i guess i should stop thinking that way.

when thinking ahead;

i don't like coming back home on sundays, 

i feel so sian all over again. 

tons of things to complete... sigh. 

this month and next month won't be any better. 

for me. 

june sucks cos first week i'll be having exams, meaning will be stress.

second and third week won't be any better although it's pathetically two weeks of holidays. 

last week back to school so again, sucks. 

sian...don't know sian until when. 

researching is sucha horrible thing to do.

but at least i spent my whole saturday morning doing some work. 

you know, at least.

so sian to still know that i've so much more ahead. sian! :( 

afternoon was spent outside,

and the best moments passed by superbly fast...hardly can even catch a breath. 

oh well, there's eternity that lies ahead for us to live the best moments together :)

super tired, goodnight.

There's no such thing as limiting your thoughts and thinking of what you want and hope for even if it can't happen. 'Cause to think of it means something, and to just say your thoughts means even more. Who knows it might just make someone happy. 

It's the thoughts that count, 'cause afterall you think because of how you feel.

Words from the heart are very sentimental and significant. 

So speak forth your mind and express your feelings! :) 

fridays are the finest day of my week, 

only that you have ALOT to do cos everything piles up. 

sigh, and it's very tempting to sleep when you just got home after the day. 

actually being a student is not that good, cos after school you still gotta do your school work or study, so like the whole day your mind's always functioning as long as you're doing things related to academics! sigh, horrible. 

it has been hours and i'm still doing econs. HAHA. 

okay i admit the rate i'm going is super slow, i'm tired. 

i think i was the first to know that mas selamat got caught cos i was telling my friends about it today morning.

ruby got so excited over it and don't know why -.-

anyway i think singapore security system not THAT good la, they even need malaysia to catch him? oh well. 

and i realised almost everyone around me very stressed up with poly life too.

either too drained, tired and weary, stressed or just not getting used to this. 

woah, i'm counted as the stronger one alr. ha! 

as long as our presence exist together, anything goes. 

everything would be enjoyable and good. 

'cause we complete each other, wholely :) 

I think i've lost weight, really. 

glad that wed and thurs are over. ph value of my mood increased to 6.5. 

although more and more things to do but at least the days are over for now. 

was very distracted during first tutorial cos of the sudden immediate decision to make. 

decision-making under pressure ok. 

but luckily no proper lesson going on... if not i'll really be dead. 

it was rather just going through all the projects and presentations briefings. 

anyway she laughed when i told her to call me shereen instead of my chinese name -.- 

was in my very own world when we were at bistro until this group of ladies got me into their conversation. amusing people. 

so the day passed by boringly and horribly. 

during pom they wanted me to go and present but apparently i was too sian to do so.

any day except for wed and thurs. 

anyway, my favorite subject is APEL. 

HAHAHA, ok sounds lame but whatever. it's cool ok, afterall it's still a subject. 

it's good what, you learn about success and life and emotions and how to manage yourself and such things. interesting stuffs...i saw one of the page whereby they tell you how your cognitive mind works and stuffs. very different from character education you know.

if they have a grading i'll get a distinction man... but too bad there's only pass or fail. ha.

i'm supposed to do research for essay test but i'm tired,

and it's time to sleep too, so goodnight. 

& what really matters is just us being as one in heart.

the power of what makes us smile from the inside out. 

:( 

so sian, so distressed. i need you. 

your love and your concern. 

daoer.

These thoughts, they suck. 

 

calm, yes i always am. 

the damn bus pissed me off in addition to the sianness i was feeling.

i hate my timetable. i hate ending so late. i just hate it. i hate this. 

what's their bloody problem in having the breaks in betweens, i don't freaking need them. 

i reached home at damning 715, feeling in sucha foul mood and all,

and things just got worse when mum and i started shouting. 

she just dislike it when i talk in such tone, and please, she was irritating me first. 

look who's the cause. zzz. 

had f&b test, and was studying during the whole day in the library in school with a few friends. 

everyone in class seemed superbly stressed, i swear. ha, amusing.

maybe due to haven't been studying for ages or something. 

my mind is very overloaded with alot of things..

haven't really got time to do tutorials and stuffs, and other tests and projects are piling up now.

zzz. 

presentation today also, tutor was not being very nice to some people. 

he was so sarcastic and crude and everything else.

not unusual, other teachers or lecturers are like that too, seen before. 

so it kinda lasted long, had to finish everyone's. 

zzz. 

sian, damn sian of all these.

totally. 

i finally went to the hairdresser! 

like after delaying for two whole weeks zzz. 

(haha not that i'm too stress k.) 

ok but however i've billions of things on my mind :( 

sch work and more and more of them. 

i haven't finished studying my overwhelming test for tmr, 

and i haven't prepare my bay leaf presentation. gasp x 1000000. 

yes so gonna be superbly highly efficient and effective now and tmr morning and tmr afternoon.

whenever wherever. 

i'm an amazing person :D 

i appreciate myself. hahaha. 

Read me, i miss you. 

the black and white series, ha. 

i was finally early by 5min today.

i was called bamboo today anyway -.- 

why, i think some others are skinnier than me! 

i didn't quite understand the circular flow of income between injections and withdrawals during econs though. 

sigh gotta do some studying soon enough this week.

but i like econs tutorials cos he always ends earlier :)

but too bad it doesn't falls on the last lesson of my timetable. 

was munching abit here and there during rht lecture to prevent myself from going to the sian-est level.

and still stuck with studying f&b now. 

heard from another class that it was quite difficult? oh well. 

i dread wed and thurs!  

so better don't mess with me during those days.

oh, jerald saw me in school today and i couldn't recognize him. 

he was waving at smiling and i just looked at him like as if he's nuts or something. 

aiya felt so dumb actually after realizing.

so if any of you didn't see me for ages and suddenly pops out one day,

don't mind if i couldn't recognize, just give me like ten seconds.

yawns.

i don't like morning rains. 

i don't like monday(and wed and thurs).

i don't like waking up so early again after three days. 

it's quite bad to have such negative feelings when you wake up in the morning right...yeah i don't like that too. 

the only thing i can like about is probably that another day is passing by so tmr is coming sooner. 

cos there's really nothing much to look forward to except for the lovely moments in time. 

i hope i won't be having headache today, hahaha. 

mind is going to be overloading again. 

bold statement

Forever will I be with you through this life. 

:)))))))

sweetdreams! :D

communion sunday today. 

and due to time constrains i had to cab to church this morning :( 

but luckily was not late, from a 30min travel reduced to 10min from ps.

so it was like buying 20min of time...? 

aiya whatever.

so my pastor was saying that there was once another pastor asked the congregation why do christians support ManU. 

he said "why are you all supporting the devils?"

then he added "your should support liverpool cos their tag line is You'll never walk alone."

my pastor said "yeah, sounds very holy right, but actually cos that pastor supports liverpool." 

-_-" 

sigh, the singapore education system is horrible. 

madness, i still have much more yet to study...zzz.

So nice to see you smile :D 

you know when you haven't been studying for ages, 

and then suddenly you have so much to do so, 

it's hell lah, really :( 

dragged myself out of bed today morning.  i feel so tired :( 

but no choice, i have like billions of things to get into my head for F&B test, 

and left like only three days to study for it. 

last time we thought studying 2 chapters of the textbook in sec is like so much within a week,

but now this is like 6 chapters of it. 

anw, i feel like my brain's kinda washed up cos i don't seem to remember birth dates of people.

HAHAHA stm, gasp. 

need to like upgrade another 2GB of memory for that...

but currently i need that space for my school work. 

hausan showed me mr hou's picture through his msn webcam,

he looked "better" now though, and his house is super nice.

glad that he's doing well there... and he said he stays beside an apple farm. 

haha hilarious. so he's got free apples everyday.

(anyone wants to see his picture can ask from me, cos i don't wanna put up some guy's picture on my blog for no good reason. haha.)

ok time to study. sigh!

bian tai one la, so much -.- 

it's may! time really flies. 

May Resolutions:

1. save money

2. go to the hairdresser! 

3. get used to the hectic poly life i'm in 

4. complete all tutorials/assignments(super alot can! zzz.)

5. do well for presentations/tests/projects 

6. pay full attention during lectures! haha(but cant really do so when i'm tired) 

7. get a jacket if ever i'm free& have the time 

8. school's CCN day 

9. drink more water 

10. try not to be so sian(although quite impossible) 

11. sec clique meet-up 

12. try not to be so dao when not needed 

13. stop getting lost in school 

14. punctual for lectures/tutorials every morning(sigh the dumb bus) 

15. go activate concession card

16. stop thinking of psping haha! 

17. break 100k in facebook bejeweled blitz 

today's my church family day and mum's at the singapore flyer. 

she should be enjoying herself i guess.

while her no life daughter's staying at home doing school work. ha.

i don't know why but toilets always seem to be the place i'm being asked to take at.