Ridiculous last minute deadlines to meet, like as if my life is not sad enough - stress everywhere, mentally physically emotionally...while others enjoying, relaxing, having a good time, sigh.

Time is passing so slow, so...torturous.

I guess it only happens once in a long while...but still, thank you for your assurance.

What's the use of having pretty eyes when all you see in it is sadness.

I feel like...my tomorrows are going to be so different.

Things are just starting to be getting really miserable.

It just gets deeper, and deeper :(

Today? Damn dulan.

Some moments you wish they'd last forever.

Sigh.

There are things that just hurt you, break you, pains you, and tear you apart. I face these all the time.

I don't know how to be a little more less selfless...I really don't.

Every moment like this is just, so bitter.

What is the point when you can't even speak to someone at your vulnerable moment? In the end, I am still just being left here on my own - alone to face myself.

When time seems to pass by forever, every moment of emotional struggle deepens. This kind of pain, nobody understands.

Suppression is always on the verge, I need to constantly put up this front, just to hold back the start of a silent breakdown.

I am not into relationships...anymore.

Yes, I am very emo. My blog is just depressing, I know. I can't stand this gloominess either, but I guess it has become a nature in me.

I struggle with my emotions everyday. Sometimes I really don't know how to manage and go on, but yet I have to know I'm only all by myself. One day when I've stopped, I guess I'm really too tired.

This is the only place where I could release a little. It really hurts when the only person you wish to speak to can't even be there.

Don't fall for me, I'm not worth it and I don't deserve.

You know how tear glands work? They are never driven by the head, only the heart.

So near yet so far.

It's when you are just an sms away;

It's when you have just so much to say;

It's when your heart is so constrained and still you have no ways.

It's like things are forever just so momentary;

It's like things are just so hard and rigid;

It's like living under the same piece of sky but breathing in differently.

The tough times are just not getting anywhere better, but much, much harder.

In this life I've learnt that time is valuable, time is a determinant, time matters.

The rain falls because the sky can no longer handle the heaviness. Just like tears, it falls because the heart can no longer take the pain.

You're seemingly out of reach, tell me how to manage this.

'Cause I can't afford to.

Times have changed. Things have changed. Every season that comes is a season of change.

It's only going to get worse; I have to tell myself that more is to come.

One of the worst feelings one could ever experienced is to be taken for granted and be neglected-and I know how it feels like. Something once so close to heart.

Today, do you know how it feels like to go through painful emotions by keep silent because nothing can be done; to suppress my own inner self and could only accept; to understand the harsh things in reality and only to live with it; to struggle to pull through every tough moment that is seemingly forever? I do.

Dear Diary,

What is there to look forward to for the rest of the year?

-

Do you think a person who pretends to be fine is happier, or a person who has to suppress and give in is happier?

Do you think a person who acknowledges the reality and speak is easier to do, or a person who is actually experiencing and going through the process?

Do you think a person who has no choice is better off, or a person who has a choice but just cannot seem to do it?

And this is just the beginning.

So dreading tmr to come...I think my workload has piled up till limitless and I'm just gonna die at work tmr, sigh. Week 9!!! I hope I can faster end this and hopefully a switch or something, 'cause its like being stressed over something you force yourself to do with is seriously only testing your own limits for nothing.

I really dislike this time of the year...it just feels so... :(

Why does it seem like we're so far away now.

Every moment, every thought, every wonder, every suppression, reaches straight to through my heart.

& as each day draws nearer, I'm daunted by the awaiting period of time that is to come. I'm trying very hard...really.

My friends say my blog is too depressing.

Yes, i am an emo person in heart. This will never be changed.

Life is playing a joke on me by making me go through all these. God, please help me.

I can relate to almost all emotions. Reality brings me to pain, misery and agony. Love showed me hurt, insecurity and inferiority. Heart moulded me in understanding, patience, forgiveness and perseverance. Mind teaches me about sadness, scars and memories. Tears found my weakness, my fears and my lonliness and my brokenness.

At the end of the day, it is only me taking it all in, feeling the worst, getting the same thing over and over again. It's prolonged, unceasing, everlasting, and unfortunately, forever. I know i may be dumb, blind, crazy, naive, whatever. I really do not know how to help myself.

Everytime it rains, it illustrates my mood and verbalises my state of emotion.

It hurts, really.

Why am i even bothered?!

I think my priority list sucks, I know I'm pretty blind.

Finally it's friday, this week had been bad.

Everyday's so boring now, zzz.

Maybe it's better if i just stay silent, keep to myself, go through everything myself while suppressing, because at the end of the day, everything will still be as it is, isn't it.

Only food and sleep makes me happy.