In the end, everything is still at it is; only can be worse on its way.

Sometimes people change for many reasons, sometimes people change without knowing any reasons, but sometimes...people change because of a reason.

To be honest, I don't like the you that is in disguise to me. Bitter.

I may be very emo and I may breakdown many times, but I am strong enough to put up a front.

The day was too long, too long.

I'm sorry I really can't take it anymore. This is really too weiqu. Why am I deserving and experiencing all these...why is it that all I'm giving are in exchange for all these emotional pain. This is too much for me to bear...I'm just here all alone by myself controlling and suppressing in silence. Who is there to comfort me. You have no idea what kind of state am I in right now. My heart cannot take this...I'm at the lowest peak of emotion...really.

I know I can only accept, but I cannot help to feel this way.

I know I must only understand, but I could only struggle and suppress silently.

I know I said I will harden, but I fail to defeat my own weakness and vulnerability.

I know I have to control, but I had to face all the emotions alone.

I know this is all I should have known, but I just can't let go.

Again, you're going through all these.

Again, I am.

What matters is you're happy.

I think my job scope needs to be 24/7.

Zzzzzzz.

I have to constantly remind myself that my work is never ending everyday, so no need to be so stressed (although i do have to clear everyday's work but...zzz).

This week's gonna be bad. I have too much work to clear, sigh. Very very sian.

So dreading the week to come, sigh.

I think I've been really nice and really strong. And continuing so...

Humans are all very practical and realistic, you think so? Living by the "the present matters" mindset.

Struggle, struggle, decision, rushed, hungry, hurt, upset, angry, pissed, heartbroken, head, control, control, more control, fake, even faker, suppress, suppress even more, vulnerable, totally insecure, control, weiqu, overly weiqu, starving, bloody tiring, weak, heartless, breakdown.

Seriously, fml.

No matter how much I dread some things, they still have to happen and will come eventually.

Sighing much, but I'm telling myself to get through it.

Life at internship is getting really busy, I am constantly trying to clear as much work as i can. Thousands of different situations I face everyday, so crappy. No joke when your assistant manager talks to you every single day man.

Some things...whichever the outcome, it still feels as sucky as ever.

Some things...whatever you do, it will still be unchangeable.

Some things...no matter what, it will still be there.

It's courage when you face it.

It's humility when you embrace it.

It's understanding when you accept it.

It's love when you are willing to give and do all of it.

Dear Diary,

Something from the past is seemingly back to pay a visit; it feels like i'm moving so far but going nowhere. The wave of emotions are about to haunt me yet again. Can the rest of the year pass by quicker? I guess I'm behaving too selfless. I guess I couldn't really think for myself first before others. I guess, it's my heart who is in control.

Painful, really painful - was, is, going to be, and will be.

I know your struggle.
I will give in and take a step back.
I also know how much it takes.
But I will.

Sigh <\3

I need some time alone.

I think...everyday I have to always rush to pack up and leave the office because there's so much work left to do & supervisor's always rushing me off and I always had to feel uneasy until the next day to continue them :\

I hope I can stop asking people in my department questions...lol...although it does make me appear to be more friendly but I still hate myself for it. The real challenge is starting.

Anyway, hate going home after work because everywhere is so annoying. Just today, some irritating people were rushing for the train and tsk me off the escalator (end up she also didn't get on the train what -.-) Then there were some very inconsiderate people who don't know how to move themselves in that sardine train and let others out. The crowd is madness. Half of the population were stuck outside the train and couldn't get on. 99% of the people inside the train couldn't move. I wonder what has public transportation done to the locals recently -.-

Gonna get my printer repaired really soon! Happy.

Today's so cui, lol. I started working officially on my own, and I think I irritated my supervisor 'cause I asked her so many questions until I also very irritated by myself =\ But it's better than I do it wrongly and kena very badly after that right? And apparently I submitted something with a small mistake to my manager as well. Luckily he was very nice to me, heh heh. But was so overwhelmed today, I believe I still have alot alot of things that I'm not sure of. But I worked so hard today, headache :(

Have you ever felt like you know too much of something until you don't know it anymore?

Had been getting really deprived nights these days, lol. But my birthday celebrations have been good so far. Two more days to go...and i think i've been eating far too much during this period. Time to cute down soon!

Happy Birthday to me ^^

Two more days to go & next week I'll be starting officially on e-reservations :O Actually this week pretty "relax" for me, just gotta use my brain because most of the time I'm just doing the project. Hehe, and I quite like it =x

The hardest part is always to move on no matter how much it takes to.

New snoopy love to my home! :)

Hello world, my mondays are passing by too slowly, which isn't a good start to my week. But nevertheless, it was counted as the "better days" already bcos supervisor isn't around so yay! A whole day working on our project with my intern kaki. Draining and extremely tiring but I'm happy enough because I don't have to do something that I don't like to, hehe. Four more days to go!

Can't wait for poly life to be over as I graduate, gonna make a big changeover hohoho.

I think I'm getting really fat. I eat non-stop everyday, even when I am working :( Very bad stuff. Either I'm too stressed or I'm too unhappy, lol.

Hello, October is here but nothing much to be happy about. I just hope another week will pass by fast and repeat this routine for 20 times, lol.

I'm so bored till I'm playing mcd's monopoly. Lol, hope i win something hahaha! :P