On mind, In heart.

Ultimately, who do you truly think of at the end of the day after everything?

i've just finished eating my dinner and i'm having hiccups.
shit, i hate it man, doesn't feel right when you keep *ulp*-ing -.-

and i feel very irritated when my mum speaks nonsense too.
who says assumptions are always correct?
i tell you no means no liao, if you still think yes then yes lor.
i've said my piece and that's it.

was talking to joshua on msn during noon,
me: ya i'm born in penang m'sia
joshua: oh my gf is from m'sia too
me: wah really!
joshua: yeah, m'sians are nicer, sg ladies CMI

and marina sq is superbly cold!
went there to have my supposedly lunch? at 3pm?
ha, then after i went home i had my dinner.
seriously, i am getting fat.

told ruby that during first day of poly she'll see me without a bag,
i'll just bring a pen and my phone and my wallet and my specs. HA.
me: then i'll borrow a piece of paper from you and make friends with you :D
ruby: no go away, you bagless person i'm not your friend -.-
TOTALLY HEARTLESS RIGHT?!
but i love to tease her, no wonder until now she don't really believe things i say cos most of the time i'm just jokingly bluffing her about things. HAHAHA.

jiani likes checkered blouses. haha i don't have any.
but anyway, i saw a nice top at deaigual!
hehe random.

my cash are all flying towards transportation, aw :(
why is the society being so unreasonable to charge adult fares for non working people?
it makes no sense, don't you think so?
oh well.

& first time saw rfriend getting so upset over a friend...
well although i haven't really seen it yet, but i guess such things does happen.
it's either up to her or up to us already.
afterall changes are changes right? you can't prevent them from happening you see.

branden: im so sry about yesterday, didnt know you were sleeping.
me: nvm but hello its midnight of course i'm sleeping?
very strange leh, i think guys sleep very very very late, do they?

'cause for me it's you.

always you & i always do.

it's the last day of march! :)
yeaaaah im so happy it's the end of march.
because seriously, march haven't been really that great at all.

and i guess i'm really in for tourism with ruby already, ha.
so yeah, have a different angle of what i'm going to work towards to now.
hmmmm.

April's Resolutions:
1. prepare lesson for cell
2. orientation days
3. start of poly
4. cell's shirt; cc church event
5. unconfirmed outings/meetups
6. tidy up hair before poly starts
7. make/see qad smile more :)

was very busy today morning,
stressing up and doing the design for my cell's shirt.
cos since i'm free to do so, then i'll just do it.
after april then probably you'll see me being inactive alr. ha!

then after emo-ing over my meigui i decided to nap since i've got nothing to do already.
ruby called over when i was msging her while i was like half asleep.
so eventually went to meet up with half the clique at wheelock.
didn't have intentions of eating but somehow since they count you in then no choice.
had sushi buffet, and each of them got me something for my portion while i was on way. ha!
so didn't do much except for eating?
can't really remember much of our conversation, except the smoking one.
bluffed ruby that i am actually a smoker and she said if i really was she wouldn't treat me as a friend anymore.
and she added even if it's true, mandy would be before me.
HAHAHA HEY GIRL LOOK, you're not guai at all, you believe me now? :D
passed weiqin her supposedly birthday present but end up being not one anymore. ahah.

& that group of people were so interested in redeeming that don't know what voucher,
and they were looking for that dumb counter.
i didn't quite believe in that thing la actually, but well, just walked around until they're satisfied.
and after some time shereen the hero saved the day(buay tahan alr),
i went to enquire and found out that it was only available during fri,sat&sun -.-
see see see?

&i went off first after that.
it sucks to take the transport after 6pm, peak hour.
everyone thinks that size doesn't matter.
and just look at the faces of the people, it's either stress or tiredness written on it.
all of those must be workaholics i guess.



if only conveniency wasn't a problem,
our life would probably be almost so perfect.
don't you think so? :)
a smile to start the day, a smile to end of the day.
that's what makes life better for you from me;
'cause to make you feel whole is what completes me.
feel it :)

sigh, wo de bai se mei gui ar.

wanted to nap but i couldn't get to sleep :(
i think i have nothing to do until my mind is always telling me to sleep sleep sleep now.
sigh, this is bad...must really find things to do already.
left like...almost two weeks to studying?
i guess after that my life will be opposite from now...maybe? maybe.

and guess how i killed time?
i chatted with my mum -.-
i was being so very honest and everything,
you know...in case she had the wrong thoughts of me in things.

although i can't change things for you,

but hope at least i'll make things better for you :)

understanding is a huge concept.
i don't know why but still i'm mighty glad i am one who always does so.
maybe i analyse and think about things more often.
and i'm quite self conscious about myself anyway.
but i guess it's hard to really read me just like that luh.
hurhur.

a very monotone day today.
some ang moh pastor came to preach, and i kinda like words he spoke,
very thought provoking...and makes alot of sense.
but although he wore pink, i still liked his sermon.

evan saw me loitering around at cheers after service,
and she told me i'm breathing in the petrol and it's not good.
ahaha she's still as caring as ever, if one day i get poisoned for too much intake of petrol gas she'd probably be the first the know why...or maybe the second. haha.

sigh i'm hungry...but no appetite.
it sucks to be lazy to go down and buy food sometimes.
but i really don't feel like eating cos i'm very sian of serangoon food lately.
and it's like raining now so that gives another good reason why i don't want to get out.
& naive mum thought i'm going on diet or being thrifty -.-

maybe it's true that i'm attracted to melancholy people,
but still i love to see people smile...but doesn't mean i make everyone smile.
very right, because i don't treat everyone equally...who does anyway?
and perhaps that's the reason for my existence with such people :)
yeah it's you i'm talking about. haha you, yes you.

oh yes, don't you think people who scold others for nothing suck?
yea they suck a whole hell lot of time.

hang in there, you'll get through with it.

& no matter what i'll always be there for you all the way.

sigh didnt sleep well last night.
it was so cold at night and when i woke up it was so warm -.-
and i guess sometimes it's difficult for me to stop suddenly when i start something...
i have high inertia.

oh yes, even best friends can become lovers.
ha? how rare, i've just known one last night.

actually i would prefer not eating than to eat alone sometimes.

pride...pride.
how much pride do guys have?
i've seen alot alot of them...good and the bad.
and how often do you see guys laying down pride because of someone?
i've yet to see someday, haha :)
but well everyone has pride la, its just at different areas and how you portray it.
mhmms.

&yes, the day passed :)

sigh im tired.
i want to sleep.

hohoho i survived today, but i'm feeling very very tired, and i dont know why!

mandy said probably i slept too much, but i still feel very tired :(

maybe it's true that when we have dreams we will wake up feeling tired?

oh well whatever the case...shall sleep more. haha.

anyway i forgot why but i remembered telling mandy "you scared me leh" for some reason,

and then just before that sentence someone accidentally knocked me and that guy thought i said that to him -.-

wth?! mandy was laughing like mad...nuts luh i won't say that kinda thing for goodness sake.

sigh, notebook caught my eye and i felt so depressed for a moment.

very motivated and provoked to get it but cant start with anything to do so -_-

mandy tried stopping me from going in but to no avail.

haha funny moment, and ended up she said i broke her heart cos she saw the ipod she wanted.

hahaha!

i don't think i really speak that softly do i?

why on earth does mandy have difficulty hearing me sometimes -.-

perhaps her earpieces blasted music too loud already.

and it's not soft, just being gentle. haha!

i miss the taste of coffeeeeee, damn i'm gonna have some next week.
and i have a sudden craving for ice cream! gonna have it next week too.

it's qing ming period now and my mum didn't go back penang cos she doesn't like to travel around for only like a few days,
cos it simple makes no sense to her so she asks her sisters to do it instead every year.
cousin is going back and yay, bed is all mine for awhile. WAHAHA.

it's very much often the last words that people end off with affects them the most.
and likewise, it's often the last moments that usually end off or makes someone's day.

i dont know what on earth was i doing the whole day outside today la.
was trying to kill time but apparently with the wrong person. ahah.
i didnt even do anything much and i'm so tired now. maybe due to waking up early i guess.
movied? i thought i was pretty amused by things but apparently i didnt laugh much.
and some annoying lady was sucha loner that she moved away when i sat beside her.
ha? like as if i care, sitting beside me is such an honour please. lol.
i suggested to catch some violent ones but i guess rather not afterall,
not with the right person, heh.
&bestfr was laughing so hard until she leaned on my shoulder o.o
i laughed not at the movie but at her at that moment. haha?

and i didnt realise i could be quite a dao person actually.
well i guess i am like that, especially to strangers...
so if you dont quite know me or dont even do, dont be surprised if im not as friendly.

was talking to bestfr about future stuffs, our plans, what we want to succeed in and all.
we are very different.
she's a typical shopaholic that work for branded goods,
i'm much simpler, i would work for my own desired living life.


very tired, goodnight world!
i'll just survive another tmr.

Hmm² .

ok apparently i'm like having flu in the mornings recently -.-

kinda annoying actually, oh well.

everyone's saying i sound sick,
mum's saying i'm like some hibernating bear locking myself at home playing game all the time,
elroy's saying he envies what i'm doing now -.-
what the heck?!

it's bad to feel too much sometimes, isn't it?

i hate it when my emotional side comes out. sigh damnit.
i live the moment but i cant seem to think for the moment sometimes.
er xin arrr.
oh well, but it's still just like that, so just like that then.
what to do? dui bu dui?

because life isn't fair, you need to have the best and the worst coming together.
overcoming it would result in perfect harmony.
how profound.

ah nevermind, whatever.
haha speechless.

however things may be for you, just know i'm always here with you.

HAHA OMG.

i took some quizzes on facebook,
and results are that:
I love cool and collected people that will make me laugh, I am sanguine and I am typically attracted to melancholies of the opposite sex.

LOL MY GOODNESS.
you see that word melancholies? (laughs)
according to dictionary.com,
1. sadness, dejection, despondency. 2. seriousness. 4. gloomy, despondent, blue, dispirited, sorrowful, dismal, doleful, glum, downcast. 6. serious.

okay right, i strongly believe for mine is applied to serious.
what an entertainment sia.


anyway, was looking at the video on dinali's blog,
omg it's so freaky. feel like pucking after seeing it -.-
a fish still swimming in the tank when its body is being cut to make salmon.
how disgusting can that be?!

a silent soul indeed, it's never wrong.
hahaha.

I guess the best thing I could do is to always stay by you :)

sososomuchsoforso.
expect the unexpected; you get hit big time.
just don't do it again if i really mean something to you.

stronger than anything;

Alvin says:
can afford to treat u
Alvin says:
means quite rich liao
Alvin says:
u eat so much
ﮒhereen Feel my concern. says:
LOL WEIII
ﮒhereen Feel my concern. says:
TREAT ME TO ME MEANS IS QUALITY GOOD FOOD OK


i like food.
i like to eat.
but i'm a picky food eater.
hahaha!


mum: you don't know your daughter has high expectations(of guys) one meh?
dad: ha?
mum: her standards very high one, but don't know why studies not like that.
me: HA.

maybe but maybe not anymore :)

i think i always get previews first before the real thing happens.
i really think so you know.
(omgarrr).

oh my gosh. oh my gosh. oh, my, gosh.

for a moment my heart skipped.
for a moment my pounding head stopped.
for a moment my pain ceased.
for the moment i could hardly breathe.

to think that i could actually respond...
that is so impossible to happen.
so impossible.
& no, you have no idea how i totally felt inside.

it's realer than any horror movie.
i swear.

that's it, that ended my day.
that's so very it.

pictures taken yesterday:

this was outside church; happy birthday judith

huijun always have problems taking pictures. ha!

-

-

anyway as usual it's always not everyone there,

it would maybe be a miracle if we ever have full attendance.

uhh headache now. crap, everywhere in me is not feeling well this morning.

oh yeah last night i was so glad cos i helped my junior to solve an amath qn.

hahaha although initially i really had to take out my notebooks to refer -.-

seriously those stuffs became so alienic to me suddenly.

sigh this is what memory work does to humans after many many months.

no wonder stm is sucha common thing nowadays.

wa pain.

a glimpse of you, finally

I dislike the word pain now.

i dont know if i should feel bad or touched.
i didnt want to say no cos i know how stubborn you are.

woke up superbly early to church,
and i was feeling so out of place all over cos last night i got woken up by my upsetting stomach.
oh well...sigh.
cant believe teens are saying i look older than i actually am now.
is that a good thing? dont know uh.
as i was telling eleena, old and mature are different things ok? haha.
combined service later on, and i tell you the main chapel is not as cold as where our normal service is!
celebrated judith's birthday outside after service...and managed to see her smile after seeing her sian face. hahaha.
and everyone was pretty shocked at joshua's new bike. ha, wild guy.
i prefer drivers than bikers. dont know why i just dun like bikes.
they give me the feeling of risk and danger. ahahaha.
then had cell outing, went to lunch at dohby.
was crapping with eleena all the way, but hey i speak quality craps ok. HAH.
left after finishing my food, and was perspiring like anything when i got home.
oh yes, and damn that stupid scratcher...ridiculous behaviour.

reached home and slept cos i was really tired for dunno why...
my day was long but it was just overall like that though, nothing much.

anyway i like the name gideon.
dont you think it's special?
maybe one day if i own a puppy in my house i'll call it gideon.
HAHA just kidding.
i like shereen more :D

i hope i made a difference, even just for thirty minutes of time.

so my whole saturday was at home again with me myself and i.
that's it. how romantic.

dinnered with rfriend and i said alot of wrong things.

sigh, goodnight.
i dread waking up so early on sundays sometimes.

i've never felt this way before.
i never knew i could be so distracted.
i never realise i would worry and care so much.
i never thought how much i'd feel and think.
never.

it's raining.
i feel sad.
a part of me is aching.
i dont care how others may feel,
i only know that what i feel is definitely above all others.

i'm emo, how :(

i feel so helpless sometimes.

didnt sleep well last night partly because of ruby gan mei hwa! -.-
DISTURBING ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AR.

sigh, so incomplete.
worried sick uh.

anyway my house is so filled with music now.


I CANT FEEL FINE,
when you're not

i had been staying at home for the past two whole days...
and today i really didnt feel like staying at home rotting my day away anymore,
so i went out at like two plus until seven? hurhurrr.
anyway nobody was home and i didnt want to stay at home alone with nothing better to do.

met up with madwoman and she made me find her at somewhere i don't know:(
but anw i finally saw queenie :D hahaha so nice to see her again man!
accompanied her to salon to do up a new haircut cos she hated the foc one.
had my lunch+dinner at gardens after that with three of 'em.
i was eating so much and they were horrified.
hahaha hello? i'm hungry ok! nobody asked me whether have i eaten or not wad :(
(laughs) oh well, i ate one plate of chicken rice and some nuggets plus alot of milo.
hohoho end up feeling superbly full when i reached home.
& i'm having a very bad craving for coffee!
just realised i haven't been drinking coffee for quite some time...mmm.

supposedly to be going to grace's house for clique's bbq today...
but apparently two weeks ago i already told weiqin that i'm not going.
and somehow it ended up with many not going also?
so well, we'll have another outing sometime in april then :)
but actually even if everyone's going i will not be going luh, not in the mood...haha.

& it's one more month to studying!


sometimes you only can feel how much you really love something/someone when it really moved you inside, isn't it so?

I just want you to be fine.

& I wished I could be there.

i have a friend who didn't know what was the name of a yellow bear.
he said Winnie The Pool.
HAHAHA crap, this was so damn funny.

i guess i have secrets with almost all my friends...closer ones i meant.

for every friend has different stuffs. hahaha!

so meaning i can't get drunk, if not everything say out.

wahahaha! but i will never get drunk anyway lar.

i was talking to mandy about vodka that day,

she told me if anyhow mix you'll get drunk like almost immediately o_o

-

-

and it's been long since i talked on the phone.

ha, i realised the first thing ruby hears when i call is always my laughter.

hahaha no wonder i'm so special to her sometimes. hehe! :D

"why your dp blank screen?"
"not blank, is black blank screen."
"ok why you put that?"
"cos dun feel like putting anything lor. you think my msn spoil ar?"

"eh your dp nice sia, totally black"

***THS*** says:
why your msn name always feel here feel there de
***THS*** says:
lol
ﮒhereen Feel my concern. says:
YOU REALLY NO HEART LEH
***THS*** says:
simi?
ﮒhereen Feel my concern. says:
got heart people got feeling one mah
ﮒhereen Feel my concern. says:
got feeling den will feel things lor
ﮒhereen Feel my concern. says:
i only change the last word


i don't understand what's so nice about total blackness o.o
anyway last time it was people asking me homeworks and exams and studies on msn,
now everything was just plainly craps.
hahaha?

goodnight world!

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking+News/Singapore/Story/STIStory_352045.html

the above is an article about a current pcss girl who got murdered.
sad right...and the suspect murderer is the mother!
gosh, i think she's so heartless.
anw i don't quite understand why would a girl who's staying at woodlands come to study in serangoon?!
too rich for transport fees uh.


ﮒhereen Feel my concern. says:
really sad lor
ﮒhereen Feel my concern. says:
you still lol
***THS*** says:
o.o
***THS*** says:
i not in peicai liao ma =X
***THS*** says:
opps?
ﮒhereen Feel my concern. says:
ex peicaian mah
ﮒhereen Feel my concern. says:
should have some compassionate heart
***THS*** says:
i dont have =X
ﮒhereen Feel my concern. says:
then wad do you have?
***THS*** says:
a normal heart


on one hand he's trying to be lame.
but on the other hand he means people with compassion have abnormal hearts.
-.-

others may do too,
but what and how i feel is definitely the most.
you can be sure of that.
zhen de :)

shit, im still feeling so warm as ever! argh, :(

it's unusual why i cant sleep sometimes. haha.

anyway i guess i tend to make people realise themselves sometimes.
is that a good thing? haha but apparently always not the ones that NEED to be realised.

i like jay chou's hua hai song :D
i think i have like many many sad chinese songs,
i can hardly like find some happy ones in my system. hahaha?
but for english it's different, i have all sorts of english songs(ruby should know ha!)

i feel like getting something to put with my keys someday. ahahah.

&&& tmd i'm feeling very warm arrrrrrrr wth!



What to do?
i know you cant really help it,
and you dont mean to also.
i understand why and who you're.
:)

to jc/poly students,
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=zBXhxkPjydY8efkUkoJqTw_3d_3d
take the above survey to help julia(if you know her),
if not then just take it as you're helping me :)
she's doing her school work. haha!

anyway, julia said something in her blog that i agree so much so that i have to write it here too. hahahaha she said "When you think about the things you really love, that is when you feel genuinely blissful."

dont you think its so true? :)

pain as your pain

You spin my head right round, right round.

(another sot song i was listening to)

sian. really very sian.

march seriously sucks man, gosh.
i did nothing today...just simply supressing my emotions.
and eat and sleep and eat and sleep. im getting fat sigh.

anw my house had this "lunch invitation" just now.
mum's cousin came over from penang for a few days already and going back tmr,
so there was lunch for her over my place just now,
and mum invited her church friends over too.
was like crap, so noisy -.- and only i wasnt in any of their conversations.
"are we disturbing you? we're quite noisy over here"
"nah it's okay, my house hardly has such lively noises."
"oh really..haha then good."
"and im used to it also. my parents talk can be as loud as you guys."
"haha then you should put some cotton wool into your ears." -.- ?
and! she thought i didnt know how to use a camera. wth i look so dumb meh?
okay nvm, elderlys forgiven. perhaps they're just amaze at such technology now o_o"

still aint on talking terms with mum.
i dont know whats her problem la -.-
hello, im supposed to be the one being upset and not talking.
but apparently youre there showing your attitude as usual.
yeah whatever lor. and whats the best part?
i was home the whole day again and you know what this means?
it means i didnt talk at all for the entire day.
yeah impressive record. ha.

and the stupid weather was so hot!
i was feeling so warm today, spoilt my mood partly also :(
maybe im having fever without knowing.
ahaha alright that was just exagerrating. boo.

"i told them to have some daytime outing"
"6am go jogging"
haha this is funny!

im very worried :(

oh ya before i sleep.
you bu yao lian girl, you nothing better to do or what.
please la just shoo k. i really dont like what you did.

goodnight -.-

got this quiz from julia :)
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

i'm feeling so restless.

the weather was melting me today like anything,
and i felt like i was in some microwave oven,
burning like some fire and exhausting excess amount of heat -.-

anyway although most women tend to think of the past,
but i'm the kind that dont really do that...
i dont quite like to rake the past up...i mean its like, what for?
remembering it and bringing it up again are quite different actually.
unless its some sweet and happy stuffs i dont mind talking and thinking about it,
but otherwise i dont really do so.
but apparently i was being asked to, so there.
hahaha.

i got myself more stressed when i was playing TypingRace in facebook.
and end up making your fingers go out of condition also.
HAHA!

i told mandy i dreamt of her smoking in my dreams and having black lungs.
hahahaha oh my, if ever she is a smoker i'll scold her upside down man.
i cannot imagine her having a cigarette in her mouth la seriously!


i'll miss you in three months time.

dear panther,

why you so ma fan one? :P
you seem to be so much busier and occupied than me.
please be good and avoid from getting so much problems here and there.
although i know you've got many areas to be taken care of,
due to poor you being made until so complicated...
and under violent environment i guess its pretty hard for you to stay peaceful too.
hahaha but still, you're very very loved!

look...seriously.
everyone is saying things i am saying.
the whole world understands except for you two.
forget it man, really.

just shut the hell up if you dont understand me.
whatever ok?!

i dreamt that we were moving into our new house!
HAHAHA omg fancy dreaming of such things manz.

anyway recently ive been pretty much listening to jay's songs.
its nice to hear his songs during rainy days though...
i dont know why. hahaha!

frankly my morning was totally bad uh.
until after church then i was back to normal already.
hahaha :)

church was superbly cold as usual...hahaha fats?
anyway do muscles have fats?
seriously i think have lor...afterall i was a bio student ok?
hahahaha so amusing at the thought of it.

oh and i'm not a bully okay...you admitted it was a NO too what :P
hahaha okay was just kidding...it's always a yes...wahaha :)


zen me ban?
my silence doesnt mean its your problem la...hahaha.
i also dunno...what you want me to say? mwhah.
zen me ban?
me too...me too, i feel the same way as you too :)

& my worry is still there.

Take care and recover soon! :)

i feel restless/sleepy/tired after having so much sleep!
hohoho i think i'm a weird monster.
& i feel so full after eating an apple.
really a weird creature i am.
(although many friends say im a eating freak(but a very slow one). hahaha! :P)

As the earth revolves, we earthlings are part of the revolution in any way.
What a profound sentence. HAHAHA!

oh yeah, last night i discovered a secret of my dad!
my mum told me he actually smokes!!!!!!!! GASP my dad was a smoker!
he quit smoking when i was like uh....7 years old?
no wonder i had no much impression of smelling tobacco -.-
oh my, so i guess pretty much that my dad was also a paikia when he was young!!!
he smokes, he drinks when soccer-ing, he speaks vulgarities when he's angry.
oh myyy, no wonder i would turn out to like "bad" guys...
(okay not really bad but cool in a nice bad way? heh this is chim.)
but well they seriously have that side in them no matter how or what. hahaha!
i bet ruby and mandy will have the shock of their lives cos they've always though my dad was the cute and innocent kind -.-


oh shucks, i'm running late for lunch.

You wouldnt know how bad enough three days are until the fourth day comes. hahaha.


MANDY TEO HOOKED MY FINGER TODAY!
omg i think she's in love with me.
hahaha just kidding, i know it was an accident :P
and she said damn me :( aw so sad right, bad woman.
but it was seriously funny when i made her panic like mad. haha.

blah blah blah, so and so...
nothing much to say already anymore.

sahara desert...cool? -_-"


goodnight!

three days without us

May your smiles come from you because of me.

• went back to school to collect o's cert
• cant stand that man with no sense of efficiency
• heard some lame stuffs
• saw a hamster that cost 68bucks
• cab drivers are really slow in their driving
• saw what is the game 'left 4 dead'
• rejected to catch movie
• rejected for free meal treat -.-
• tried helping eric to find subject codes but didnt manage to
• heard about two disgusting people
• saw someone whom i didnt regconise
• someone called and asked why i sounded so sian
• didnt feel good calling someone cos my call got hanged up due to wrong timing
• someone said my morning msn's totally black pic was cool -.-
• was dragged to play daytona, from first i became last in the last two secs -.-
• lunch wasn't very nice, dinner was no better too. ha!
• weather was superbly warm today until evening(the sun's finally out)
• finally passed drifting but didnt save so data was erased completely -.-
• took an hour to reach home when i could take only twenty minutes
• dun like the feeling when i throw myself onto my bed and the next moment someone gets me up to do something -.-
• saw how possesive some people can be
• panther was sick so i couldnt blame him for being in the clinic for so long
• will never be interested in despo kias
• ended up consuming something that was actually not meant for myself
• hope frosty can dont be frosty but i love frosty. haha

hope there wont be a fourth day.

I'm waiting for the day when my morning would be absolutely perfect,
with no sad or bad news, with no disappointments or moodiness,
with no arguments or conflicts, no problems or troubles,
with no uncertainties or doubts, with no rainy weather and noise,
but with love, happiness and joy :)


frosty dont freeze me.
I definitely won't be how i am if i'm the past me. I'm sure.
First exception, and probably the last one. I'm sure.

when there is air there is me.
i'll be the air that you breathe.


wouldnt it be nice if there's always a reason for you to smile everyday...
no matter what condition you are in? :)

(haha for a moment i really agree with my friend that i'm optimistic. wahah!)

i'm stoned too.

It's just another day.
i'm speechless over everything.

& words can never express how much i care and worry.

Hang in there, these things will pass away but I will always remain.

i think the society out there is really so screwed up.
humans out there are working like robots,
students out there are studying like nerds,
everyone is experiencing stress.
the world is so upside down sometimes.
sigh, and indeed time is never enough for anyone.
so we must really cherish the time we have now!
we all have yet so much more to see and learn,
and life is too short to hold back.
so we should treasure every moment we have and live it to the fullest.
it worries how much one minor thing can affect so much.
have you ever wonder what can happen the next minute?
so as humans, we should take prior in our own being rather than indulging in what the evil worldly desires may bring us with.

was talking, or rather enlightening ruby how the world is like out there.
anything can happen and well, it is reality.
i may have seen or heard or experienced much but there is still more further down the road,
which i amazingly told her i am very excited about it. haha! weird i know.
and she was asking about alot and i told her alot as well.
i dont know what lies ahead in the future, anything can occur,
but what really matters is how we face them...
everyone has their very own problems, which is why life is unfair.
sometimes when things arent the way they should seemingly be perfect,
we can always choose the best solution to work things out.
almost everything has to give and let go in some particular area,
but i mean, this is life. it's either this or that.
we have to have an open mind to see things broadly and not based on our selfish mindset.
but true, i did mention that we all have rights to go for what you want.
like for love, it is natural to go for someone you truly love, to go as far for what you really want, to go for what you are really happy with.
but of course doesnt mean everyone is like that,
we think differently, maybe some choose to be silent, some choose to just give up on the existing happiness,
but ultimately the best is still sorting out and working on the best solution that can be done.
problems are there to be solved, either to start or to end it off.
some things are really hard to say or predict i must say,
but then again this is what life brings.

i have no idea why am i saying such things,
but i guess probably ruby's whole lot of speaking made me realise how i would have reacted in most scenarios and situations in life.
she said i ought to be a psychologist so she could be my secretary,
listening to everyone's problems and listening to what i have to say about them.
but i dont think its a very good idea...just imagine me listening to all sorts of tragic happenings in this society, and afterwhich i keep reflecting on how life is and stuffs -.-
unless being a psychologist can make me earn big money i dont mind.
HAHAHA JUST KIDDING.

oh and, i was telling her my friends must be UP TO STANDARD ONE.
HAHAHA but of course not all are, but surely have a few that are :D
& i also told her about the luxury of eating chicken!
and the amazing discovery of BLINK book.
i'm such an interesting person right. HEHE :P
oh yes, she asked about why i dont go steady with some guys...
well and i said that because i cant be totally myself with them,
no matter how close or how good terms i am, i definitely have that line that doesnt seem to make me feel at all complete comfortable with whoever that is.
maybe with ruby i can, all sides of me she would have probably seen before,
but with guys its can never be a absolute.
if you ask why not then i'd say, wouldnt that make my lover indifferent from my closest bestest guy-friend?

ting ting, food for thought :)

I worry, I worry for you.

I wished I could be there.

:(

dont talk to headache people, they have very bad tempers.
even if youre just caring, they tend to be cold or serious.
but count yourself lucky if you didnt get any scoldings.
and you cant blame them, its the head that is in pain.

sighhh.

45min

"You are my desire, no one else will do."

shirly got me out of the house for kbox :)
i really pei fu this hyper charbo, can really talk non-stop one...
and SHE IS SO MAN! HAHAHA :P

so that was kind of my-day?
with morning doing some emailing,
and lunch time went down to buy food for mum and saw tv&co.

& i like to smell my jacket! got my smell hahahaha :D
(okay la i think this is my strange childhood habit.)
but i think i like to smell or hug my lover's jacket/coat more.
ha okok i'm weird, whatever.
(and i dont think i should be saying this here...?)

goodnight world!
hope it doesnt rain anymore tmr and thereafter.

& there, this is my cell this year.
a mixture of all ages, seriously. ha!

very long day i swear man,
and controlling some things using your head against your heart uses up much energy too,
you agree? haha.

"zen me ban???"
this question always apply to the both of us hor? haha!

ok IM EXTREMLY TIRED. zombiefied.

oh no im so tired.

someone teach me how to play drifting leh!
grrr :(

but actually quite manly right.
ok forget it then. ha!

i miss eating chicken rice with ruby&co after school!

"why you so weird one, got company you'd rather eat alone."
"i thought last time you always out there with people eating?"
"why you like so rejecting now?" ( this was abit brutal man haha)

Hahaha...so?
just take it as i not in good mood today lo.

yawn, so tired uh.
woke up like so damn early today,
and tmr also the same...will be a long day too.
morning gotta go cc to sit in, then service, then meeting with gk teachers...ohhh my.
finally settled with the outing, next up still have to complete blog and do up tshirt.
woootz, and my regional leader said i am so organized!
HAHAHA :D

anyway some model agency person called me today -.-
and that person on the other line sounded so much like a filipino maid.
very no link....yeah but whatever, haha.

coooooookie monsterrrr, get choke? >>> -_-"
HAHA! pokes.
i think i'm so mean right.
right, i should repent and not say choke anymore.

abnormalness revealing. shucks.

so long, so long.
long till like tmr's not even coming.


Impact; smell ya later.
& game over. Boo.

silence doesnt mean nothing

like owner, like dog. HAHA snoopy♥ !

-

I dont say it doesnt mean I dont feel it. I do.

i guess i just didnt want to put too much emotions into saying it.

-

-

cell in church started early and it was a short one too.

huijun said i am such an optimistic person. ha?

hear out what others have to say about their lives...

laughing over silly things that i find it amusing myself...

settling and planning things i have to do...

That was my afternoon.

-

resting in the stillness, listening to music while nuaing on your bed...

enjoying the comfort and the sound of the wind in the air... you call this life?

This was my late afternoon.

-

anyway i think lady gaga looks evil, you think so? haha.

-

-

how does it feel...to be out of sight, out of reach, out of touch, out of speech...

how does it feel?

how do you feel?

-

&the day seemed long...so long, so long.

-

-

i miss you.

boo, so much so for waking up so early.
some sort of roller coaster ride that was.
oh well. looks like i'm not wrong to dislike the rain for all my life.

and what,
no sense of bloody responsibility and commitment in what they're doing.
Organizers? More like losers.

IMPACT.

i seriously dont understand why on earth does my parents need to be so loud when they're just sitting beside each other -.-
in other words, i guess i dont like people who are loud for no good reason.

by the way, i concluded that stress/angry people cannot play game.
good mood also will turn into bad.
kinda scary actually.

sms received:
cassandra: hey. are you at east point? luo zhi xiang's coming.
shereen: er? the one i like is leehom, not zhixiang. hahaha!
man, i think she must have felt so paiseh.
but anyway i dont know where is east point also. hahaha!




you know when is ours?

so much to say

what a tiring day :(

& dinner sucks. my goodness.
please mum, dont ever try anything new again :'(
dont know what shanghai thingy this is...everyone agreed that it doesnt taste nice.

my energy level dropped so gradually that ruby was surprised at me. ha.
saw some group of indians celebrating someone's birthday i guess...
with that birthday girl's boyfriend singing to her and giving her flowers.
and ruby thought he was proposing -.-
so what does this shows? she cannot watch something that has no audio.

blah blah, no energy to type anymore.
ahhhh very tired.
GOODNIGHT!

Randomism

someone said i was a heartbreaker last night.
oh well. not true luh?

heard this on the radio few days ago:
Some things that men do not understand about women:
1. why do women say nothing when there is surely something?
2. why do women say that they're fine when they are actually not?
3. why women can spend the whole day shopping but cannot spend 90min with their men to watch a soccer match?
4. why do women take such a long time to bathe?

ha, i think men would understand me then.
i dont say nothing when theres somerhing,
i dont say im fine when im not,
90 min is nothing actually, unless its watching with some disgusting hulk.
oh maybe for the last one...
half an hour bath is not very long right? *cross fingers*
haha!

anyway i didnt know this time of the year is the rainy season.
it has been raining for like 650327948615 days?
and i feel so insecure without my umbrella with me...
although i cant really change my habit of not bringing a brolly out with me.

oh, and it's interesting to know that all colours have their meanings.
was about to continue doing up my cell's blog when i thought to do some research about colours...
it cant be black and white totally you see...not everyone's like me. hurhur.

ah, i miss my cousin who's in macau :(
still rmb her telling me to get my driving licence so can go back drive her car.
oh but i'm already having thoughts about whether to drive in the future or not.
hahaha well, its still early for that la *knocks*

Yawn.

Happy Birthday Eric :)


i stayed at home the whole day today.
mum said i was surprisingly guai. haha?
i was online for the whole day manz.
and uh, i was doing cell's blog today though.
so yes, was just purely stoning/surfing/creating blog for cell.
havent even complete it today yet, so much to do.
yeah...totally absolutely patience-day for me i guess...
alot of patience used today, really.
and, end up felt kinda numb all around(too numb to speak also).
hahaha.

(okay yesyes im still awake, so?)


dont have to feel that way, cos im not.
you dont even have time for yourself, so let alone for me.
your busy cycle...i know one, i know.
a few words and a little time is better than none anyway.
just wanna ease your mind abit sometimes.
and i go with what you want to do and achieve.
so no matter what i'll always be there behind you all the way.
my presence is always there with you, in heart :)

smile in heart :)

sigh, i think i have a phobia of signing into facebook now.

so, another stoning day at home?
really didnt have anything much to do.
never thought my first three months of the year would be so lifeless.
okay, not really "lifeless" in the sense that every moment is dead lah,
i do have my meaningful moments everyday...
oh and i kinda miss myself in school uniform though. hahaha!

my phone's battery has been lasting longer than average.
this shows how "often" have i been using it lately i guess.
one hand shows unusualness, other hand shows how inactive i am recently.
hmm...hahaha oh well, just laugh about it?

and i wonder, how does it feel like to be pei-ed by your beloved.

Wo de workaholic lover!

:D

W'Fate :D

from the clear blue sky to when the sun goes down,

from the fine weather to when the raindrop falls.

any moment counts i guess...just any.

oh poor merlion.
thank goodness i dont like lions...
if not probably i'd be so depressed seeing his poor head cracked.

anyway i was totally grossed out when i went back to the clinic today -.-
dont wanna talk about it anyway lah, even mandy felt it disgusted.
so, got back our medical report, im so very prefectly fine in my chest.
it states my heart size is normal and lungs are normal too.
like duh, even though my heart is extremely big to contain all my loves but physically its still normal. hahaha!(okay that was just crapping)

and some people thought i was going to cut their queue in the post office.
like hello, which part of me looks like i have that cut-queue face?
i cant be bothered la huh, i just want to post my damn enrolment thing okay?
typical singaporeans are sometimes over-sensitive man, really.

and so there goes another day.
goodnight world, tommorow will be better.

when i gaze into your eyes,

it isn't just another look, dearest.

"Here I am, giving every heartbeat."

sleeping sunday.
i did nothing much but just sleeping.
and it was raining heavily too...so yeah, nice nap i had :)
seriously, i love it when it rains when im at home.
hahaha.

anyway, who(esp females) in the right mind would want to gain weight?
surprisingly, me -.-

All the time we have,
Is all we have of worth.
The sum of our desires
and the fullness of our joy,
Maybe it's less than we what deserve.
But both you and i would come to see,
What we are always meant to be.

ni you xiang zhe wo ma.

oh, i just realised its the end of feb.
glad that it's over, i believe this month would be much, much better :)


March's Resolutions:
1. eat more(but maybe just a little more)
2. finish the stupid enrolment thing
3. get myself occupied so i wont have to rot for five weeks
4. create cell's blog
5. clique's bbq(may or may not be going)
6. meeting with GK teachers in church
7. IT fair(every year say want to go end up also didnt..haha i dont like the crowd!)
8. cell's outing
9. savour and treasure every blissful moments like always :)
10. qad♥ (everything&anything within :) )

yawn, so sleepy.

went to catch marley&me last night,
and i tell you it's the first time i heard so many people sniffing in the cinema.
and i believe all of them are dog lovers.
haha cos when the dog was about to die it was really so sad and touching lor.
even i teared abit too :(
but alot of them started crying at a very early point of time o_o
i was like "huh? they cry alr ar..."
my cousin was very emotional over it la, she was having a hard time trying not to cry too loud.
even some guys teared too man...so i've come to realise actually alot of mankind love dogs!
oh well..yeah so it's kinda sad during the last moments lah.

oh, i saw ms sae and friend though,
(i dont know why she looked so happy but uh, i just waved back)
then i saw sarah and clara,
then i saw lina and her friend.
like woah.

and, the service at ps' cafe cartel sucks.
seriously, dont know what happened but it just sucks.
period.




pending for your charming smile.