Into the next decade

Let's keep on walking together

Hmmmm, so it's time for a review of my year in 2009. Well, i guess it wasn't that great lah. It was the start of poly life for me, and school life was very hectic. Projects and exams and tests and never ending work to do, so i kinda felt that life is getting busy for me already. But at least i'm glad i managed to go through all these, although there were times i was really stressed but that's just part of life isn't it? I made great friends too, although my class is pretty screwed up in some way but i'm glad at least i'm not one of them. And it's true that you'll meet all kinds of people out there, pretty obvious to me just in campus itself. So i can imagine the evil of the society outside. Hurhur.

I believe i've also learnt and grew pretty much through the year. I realised things about myself that i never knew it could be so distinct in me. I understood what i really need in different aspects of life and through my actions and words also revealed my weaknesses. I've struggled much with myself and my emotions within me, learning how to give my all without wanting any returns, how to embrace the things i couldn't change, how to accept things beyond my control, how to understand others and giving mutual respect. I found myself in many circumstances which just came passing by and became a history i made out of it. It wasn't easy to deal with situations that just happened like that, surrendering to each and every requirement and no-choice decisions. I became more direct this year as well, in a sense that i would speak out more than the past, although i felt that currently i'm back to square one. I used to express myself but due to restrictions as the year goes by, I withdrew myself pretty much again. However, I saw myself saying out my feelings for things that i have and want to, things that i desperately want others to understand what i'm trying to say and convey. Although that hardly happens but i do have a side of me that speaks fourth what's in my mind.

Because time was a great factor that revolved around me this year, it was a big hurdle for me cos i basically had to have perfect time management, prioritizing things and making sure that my time is enough and sufficient. Although i really doubt myself to make even more free time next year, i'd try my best to. Even though there are limits, i won't just stop there. Initiatives are very important. Surprisingly I see myself taking much more initiatives than i thought i would be. But more importantly, the outcome of it is more satisfying than anything else.

I've changed(or rather matured to sound nicer) in many ways, one of which is my perspective and the way i feel about various things. I learnt how to open up to what i can't accept and can't stand. It wasn't easy as well, but i know i had to deal with myself if not nothing will ever turn out well. For moments that i was doubtful, when i felt insecure, when i felt jealous, they were parts of my battle with emotions. I never knew i was someone who needed much assurance, protection, comfort and security. I also learnt not to be selfish in my thoughts too, overcoming myself emotionally through the year. To-day, I've come to not expect much of anything. My expectations have reduced to such a minimum until it is almost nothing. I don't know if that's a good thing but I know it would be better in a way. I don't want to fail myself when things doesn't happen the way i thought it would. This leads me to also begin to learn to be adaptive and flexible. Things are always changing, and we need to have the courage to face and accept it. I admit, it is painful when you're not allowed to do some things, it hurts when you see things happening but you're in no control, and it kills just simply not being able to say the things you badly want to. But all these comes down to just one point - we sacrifice because we love.

It's amazing to how i've been trying my best constantly to make balance and ensure the best of everything. I don't know how it feels when somebody always encourages you, support you and stand by you. But all i know is everytime, everyday, every moment, even if the things i say or do is repeated, i can proudly say it is all from the heart and not because it has turned into a habit or just simply for the sake of doing it. I admire my perseverance and tolerance actually. As the new year unfolds, I believe things are gonna be better. Things may be hard but i know it ain't gonna last long as long as we're willing to take the effort to commit ourselves in making things best and beautiful. Nothing can compare to the intangible joy we receive.

I am really grateful that i am loved. I appreciate every little things everyone done for me. I also appreciate all the support and the presence of my family and friends. I am thankful for the companies i have, and i am really contented and satisfied. I am most grateful for the acceptance of who i am, tolerating some of my nonsense at times, and letting me enjoy the best moments in my life which brought me pleasure, joy and happiness. I could never imagine if life were to be different. Thank you. Deep down in my heart, what is rooted stays forever, just like a film with no stop buttons and a fire that will never be extinguished.

Life is about growing up and living it to the fullest. I don't believe in the 'right time' for things. I just know that whatever it is, life goes on and we should learn from everything. Cherish the people and your moments dearly, because we'll never know when will the precious memories be the last. I live the moment, and i'll always strive to make it the most beautiful that it will forever be worth remembering.

So goodbye 2009, a new decade is here and i believe years ahead will surely be better and more fulfilling :)

OMG MY BIGGEST TOE NAIL CAME OFF!!!

:( :( :(

Do you, are you, have you?

Feeling bloated still.

Had been having a sleepy mind for the whole day!

So unhealthy right, eat and sleep.

Alot of things undone, sigh ahhh.

So many projects and stuffs to chiong and settle.

Very sian lehzzz.

Wanna faster get over and done with tmr!

shaggg

wah i tell you my body clock is totally screwed up now :(

had been like on a not-constant waking up timing for the past week and stuffs,

so like suddenly woke up SO early today drains me out man.

so tired...poor eyes of mine :(

handed in two projects today, but still need many more on the way.

time to start engine...but only after this week hehehe.

came home early today after duty, glad cos i can sleep a lil more.

but audit was horrible today, i seriously need to read up next time alr.

goodnight!

& deep inside my heart, you know what i've always wanna say to you.

:)

Nothing much today.

I'm sian and tired, period.

School's starting tmr :(

I think for the next three days i'm just gonna crap my days through,

'Cause it's just three boring days then until monday already.

Doesn't make sense to start school actually huh?

Came home not long ago.

Yawn x 100

Congrats gideon btw! :)))

Hmm so we all were at the baptism ceremony, was a happy occasion.

So blah blah, had lunch and that was about it.

Slept much but still so tired.

Oh, when i went to meet cousin for dinner at our block downstairs,

the cute cat which i see everyday below my block came to me and sayang me! :D

Think it felt sad today :( or maybe it misses me hehehe.

So my cousin and me spent like 5min with it before we went for our dinner. Haha!

meowmeow :)

mood spoilt

SIAN.

so er xin, last min so many changes.

sigh.

damn paiseh when one moment i say ok then another moment i say not ok and then the next moment i say ok again. zzz.

no time alr, gotta rush.

say alr also no use, might as well don't say alr.

i know it's kinda silly but i admit sometimes it gets really insecure when it's so late.

of course things got really much better ever since a year ago after i decided to just embrace it.

but as much as i try my best not to mind it, it still doesn't feel good at times.

so then again, if i can't change things, i'm only left with the choice to accept right?

Duh...

Much more than words

The first in my heart

Hello world I'm back after a long long day.

This year's christmas was...not that bad i guess?

Quite happening and busy(but not that busy cos i filtered much out lol)

But still last year was the best...yeah really.

Hmm will next year be better? Hope so?

Oh, missed eating logcake this year. Aw.

Shall not talk much about today la, I very nua alr hahaha.

Lunched at suntec with the group and hanged around.

Wanted to play pool but ended up didn't, sat down and ate again haha.

So tada that was my day.

I am very deprived of movies!!!! rawr.

I'm so going to catch movie very very very very soon!

Seriously man, also don't know what on earth am I so busy with.

I miss watching movies.

Have lotsa planning to do for the days and months ahead..soso packed!

I've a feeling next year I'm gonna be so much busier for sure liao.

Didn't do any work today :(

Sigh no motivation and no mood.

I need to do CS research and two econs articles!

Two more days and it's school. It's just sososo sian.

Very neutral and very controlled recently already.

Even my words have to "read between the lines" and "feel" the affection underlying it.

Not easy man, not easy. What about you? Do you feel what i feel sometimes too?

Proud of myself actually, but still gets quite hard sometimes.

Shall wake up early tmr to do work! :)

Felt kinda bad for backing out but timing crashed...

sorry about that.

y'know smth?

Life gets merrier with you :)

♥

Feliz Navidad =)

yoyoyo just got home, super super tired.

spent the night at clarke quay...tmr still needa get up early.

took some v lame photos for fun with dslr haha :P

so goodnight world, & merry christmas to all! :D

Just came home after meeting up with the clique.

Resting now...but going out soon!

Kinda tired actually but still have six hours to go haha.

Merry merry....

Keep me with you tonight;

Woohoo, it's xmas eve!

I think every year christmas I always have sunburns :(

Woke up today feeling aches and burns, all thanks to yesterday lo.

But this time not that bad lah, not obvious but the pain is there.

Next year I better make sure no more exposure to sun!!!

Time to go out now!

screaming day

Today is totally oh-my-gosh.

Met up with the ladies superbly early :(((((

Headed to ECP and guess what, they went to cycle!!!

Ok la I know I'm quite pathetic cos I don't know how to cycle :(

So ended up hp and shasha took turns to ride with me hahaha.

We took the double rider one and I tell you, it was so horrible.

I was screaming my heart out for the first hour.

It was so scary!!!!!!!!!!! Like I can't balance properly and I'm damn scared of falling down la.

So ya, very unlike me to be screaming but too bad can't help it.

So it was damn tiring cos everyone's stuffs was inside my crumpler and I was scared and my hands and legs were very exhausting lol.

So much for not exercising for a long time uh, now feels like I'm aching all over the place.

Amazingly we cycled a total of 26km! Appalling for me but quite a cool record.

Drank alot of stuffs until my stomach feels sick now hahaha.

But still, had a good time with them lah, they "enjoyed" my "noise" :P

Came back after that to rest cos i feel very cui already...missed out the movie.

Wanna come home early for the sake of qad also, last two days have been sleeping late.

Very tired ahhh, but still gotta do work.

Sian, anyone wants to help me find news article? Heh.

Ok whatever.

Tmr's xmas eve! Usually the fun is over after tmr night. Haha.

I loved last year's xmas during this time...it was awesome.

But well too bad this year can't have the same thing...

nvm, there will be better moments ahead :)

steamboat marathon

I'm finally back homeee not long ago, super tired but i shall blog first.

Xmas dinner with cell was great :)

We met up for shopping at j8 first then we headed to aud's place for steamboat dinner.

& it's the first time i entered into the kitchen to prepare all the food!

Hahaha the last 'first time' of the year perhaps.

So me and aud were in the kitchen while the rest played their taboo game.

But seriously i think i abit jia lut arrr my peeling of quail eggs abit cmi.

Anyway, pity that gideon wasn't around! He missed out so much hahaha.

Then we have aud's dearest jeremy went too, haha had fun teasing them.

And melody came to join us too.

So we ate and ate and just kept on eating for like hours :O

I think we should have a movie screening over someone's place next time cos we were mostly watching the tv just now hahaha.

Well, then we had our activities, and it went better than me and elo thought it would be.

Had this sharing session and it went a little emotional halfway but still it was good la.

Hmm then we had a "mini warmer" and ended off with a "thanking speech".

Haha i was so touched by a few of them for thanking me for what i've contributed throughout the year...awww. Never knew they loved my ideas so much hehe.

I've never had like somebody who appreciates me and have the courage to like thank me directly and stuffs...haha so it's really a wow to me.

& I basically thanked everyone for little stuffs that matters to me la, i very nice one haha!

It was a good time of bonding though as we end the year nicely.

Had many smses recently regarding diff plans for xmas, and it's so funny.

Soonling's msg was so amusing that I laughed out loud when i was reading.

& then last minute received shiyu's msg, tmr gotta wake up early and prepare :(

So better sleep now!

Goodnight world.

spirit's uppp

just came back not long ago from airport!

superbly tired actually, haha.

duty was rather fine today(amazingly)! no audit and time was somehow passing abit faster :D

met up with them for lunch at bk and i was like the most hungry person there.

hmm yeah then we had our monday crew's xmas gift exchange after duty ended.

so that's about all, though it was kind of a long day.

btw my morning was awesome :D

it's always awesome when you're with awesome people :)

came back home and called elo as promised, cos i was too busy in the afternoon.

haha and then during duty so many ppl msged me!

so overwhelming, den i had to reply like once in a while to make sure it's "safe" to do so.

and gary called me twice! one passenger was talking to me and then my pocket went vibrating all the way, goshhh.

so called aud too after elo to settle some stuffs.

and tadaa i'm going to sleep now!

Even though it's not much,

but i still look forward to seeing you everytime.

cause it's always the best moments to me.

what about you? :)

feeling v tired, tonight duty confirm v sian again.

gonna chiong project tmr morning alr.

& even though i trust you, i don't feel good seeing it with you.

at all.

Ah okay, finally not so bloated now, heh.

My day was kinda long though, went out v early in the morning.

Everything went rather well so :)

Just that we had to repeat ourselves for all the svcs, haha.

See the innocent kids so cute sometimes also will make us happy hahaha.

Went for lunch with aud, josh and gid after everything at tb.

Awesome buffet lunch la, it covered my breakfast&lunch&dinner!

It was kinda funny cos we were trying to finish up whatever there is if not we would be charged for additional food left.

Gid was like thinking of ways to hide the food lol! tsktsk, leader somemore ah.

Tons and tons of food lo, then end up one of our hotpot became so diluted with oil haha!

& I had to eat so much of the white cabbageee! So overwhelming manz.

Came back around evening and rested until now hahaha too bloated to move.

Alright now i need to seriously do all my work for goodness sake.

Gonna be busy for the coming week also uh.

Boy, so rushing against time.

good morning world i'm superbly tired now yawns.

service was fine last night for the kids, today have two more rounds to go!

was desperately trying to find my skirt but i realised it's washing :(

awww howwwww.

anyway, you know what.

somebody i know is very cute yesterday ah,

he told me he is excited but he looks super solemn!

should have seen my expression, in my mind was like haRrr....???

hahaha but he's the best la :)

had a bad dream last night though, so tired still can dream of such things...

don't know how i did that -_-"

alert to myself: it's 8 more days to school & i still have tons of work to do!

As surely as the sun rises,

I miss being the first thing you wake up to.

I :

• did a lil bit of project today out ( v pathetic actually)
• bought some stuffs at bugis with two ladies
• spent the tiring day trying to look for a red shirt for tmr
• appreciate the both of them for spending such draining time with me :P (i know i very choosy and have alot of comments, haha)
• was carrying my super heavy bagpack around
• met up with the rest of family at city sq mall for dinner
• treated aunt and cousin since 'last' dinner already
• need to prepare for xmas cc svc in church for the weekend
• had been thinking about you

Ok, things miraculously became fine suddenly -.-

Speechless.

Always here in my heart.

It feels better to be out there where you can relax and get out of a situation where you don't feel comfortable at all.

Went to school for some admin stuffs, then met up with joo for lunch and shopping.

I spent quite alot today though, gotta keep a lookout on my wallet already ahah.

Then went to church for rehearsal and dinner with the rest.

Wasted alot of time deciding on what to eat! Haha.

So...that was my day.

Oh, and I got approached again! This time for some credit card thingy.

It's been like, a few times in this week already loh, so annoying one.

I thought people like andre always say I'm dao but then people are still approaching me -.-

Aiya whatever.

Gotta be chionging all my school work already, no much time left.

I guess I'm not being very nice now but sorry I have my limits to things.

If you treat me like that, I will do the same.

To be frank, I don't see any point in you behaving like that. It's ridiculous.

If you insist of thinking it that way, then fine I can't be bothered.

You don't understand and you never did think further.

currently in school now, leaving soon to meet joo :)
so gan dong by her la, make the effort just for me.
thankyouuuuu :)

things are still very screwed up.
i don't know what's with things ok?!
if still want to be like that and let things be this way then i have nothing left to say.
it's not like as if i am the one who is screwing things up.
it's just horrible, things were not supposed to turn out like that.
but ha, who knows what will happen the next moment right?

oh well, this is just life.
alright gotta go out and take in some fresh air.


jiayou working, qad.
& i appreciate your mornings.

friction > force

still controlling...

i can only think of saying, think of asking, think of telling...

because i can't do it.

the feeling's just...

but yes i know, i know.

wanna sleep soon.

waiting for hot hunk's msg.

My day wasn't good at all, that's all I can say.

For love.

Just don't, shereen.

No more.

just came back home from rhema conference.

ok lah, it was kinda good i would say.

just that i didn't expect there would be no chairs,

and so me and my poor denim skirt...you know...yeah.

but well, it was fine all right.

saw some of my former kids over there too.

young people are just young...

i'm like alr half dead but they're still full of energy!

yeah...just gotta admit i'm really getting old, ahah.

& thanks aud so much for the lift back :)

It gets really hard but i give, because i love.

As much as I want to

Swallowed my two hearty words

duty last night was sian and tiring.

was feeling sleepy and was having headache due to the audit!

sian lo, now every week have audit.

i guessed alot of answers and my grooming got minus points too!

so jia lat uh, next time must score all the audit qns alr.

and i realised men have a common habit when responding to people :O

school's starting in like, 13 days!

but i still have not started/finished the least bit of all my projects lehhhh.

zen me ban die alr...no motivation to do :(

gonna chiong in the next few days(if possible) cos my next week's gonna be busy i guess.

rhema conference tonight!

still feels weird waking up in the morning like that...

Quietism

and your smile, it warms my heart.

don't feel like blogging today...not in the mood to talk also.

anyway, those slow reactions were cos i didn't feel like talking.

sorry about that...but at least still got answer, not that bad lor.

of course it's a yes and i want to.

some guy approached me and asked me to do some survey.

actually very reluctant but i was waiting for people so just said ok.

ended up he thought i was some working adult or uni grad?

he was paiseh and said cos i looked matured and stuffs -.-

and he asked dumb things like where am i going and if i'm going to catch a movie.

and if i am going to do so he told me not to watch storm warriors cos it wasn't nice at all.

he was talking all the way when i didn't even answered him a single thing all along -.-

qad must have hated the movie i guess.

yes it is really difficult...but what to do.

i guess i could only refrain.

another tiring day...just came home about an hour ago?

shopped a little today in town and had dinner.

don't like the crowd...haven't even xmas already so many people.

whole mind was filled with whether should i get it or nottttt.

haiya...after like two months later i'm back to thinking about the same thing.

haha! so lousy right...i know.

initially was feeling very lazy la, just have the thought of it.

but gradually the thought got bigger and bigger lo.

sianz, but still feeling very lazy cos abit troublesome ah.

aiyaaa see how, time can wait for me for this.

very tired, sleep soon!

Ok shereen leung,

you're seriously and very seriously not going to.

I know you can and will.

a magnet that can't repel.

I said I understand and I know what to do means I do.

I believe you know me well enough by now, so please don't say that again.

I don't know what was with you with that reaction.

It was only a few questions.

I know the crux of the situation then but it really sucks to be shut up.

I won't ask anymore since you think it's too much.

I won't ask anymore since my concern is actually nothing to you.

I will always make the best out of circumstances.

I need to get used to and it takes time to give it in.

Like how it was done for many things last time.

I may fail one in a hundredth time,

but I am always trying to make sure it will be what it is.

But I wonder if you understand.

It's not easy, you know.

just one word - tired.

i'm very tired, had been very tired and still am very tired.

did nothing today but i am feeling soso tired.

spent almost the whole day at the airport...dunno doing what also.

waited for my aunt and cousin for superbly long at arrival hall!

and i reached there early also.

then somehow had late lunch and stuffs, took up the entire day alr.

the airport is just big.

wanna sleep soon.

puppy blues!

you've been on my mind

wah, so tired now.

was out for the whole day today with the ladies :)

vivo and tampines to accompany shasha to hunt for her clothings.

i did some window shopping first, next time then go for second round of real shopping.

hehe must look around first then decide.

singapore clothes are like....good quality but sometimes not very nice.

nice ones usually so damn expensive till you see alr you just feel like as if you didn't see it -_-"

spent much on mainly food today! gosh sinful worzxz.

ate twice somemore. lunched, then shopped, then teabreak.

hahahaha awesome.

life's a lil' better without school, mwhahaha but for the moment only.

next week gotta start on all the projects :(

oh, and we talked about econs project.

we suggested joo's group should do on condoms.

HAHAHA! confirm get A :P

hmmm so tempting to buy heeeeels but...see how.

& thanks joo for the jelly beans! haha :)

and and and i want a puppy larrrrrrrr :(

went to pet safari just now and the puppies are just soooooo adorable.

sianz, why does my mum objects. sad.

and i thought of a better solution that she might accept(0.001% of hope).

was thinking of getting a big cage and make sure it's super comfy,

then just keep it there when i'm not at home so my mum won't do anything to it until i'm home.

heh good idea right...but gotta to think owning one requires alot alot of time and effort and $$!

very expensive you know...its like ten times more ex than keeping a terrapin.

ahhh oh well, if not then just wait till i get my lovely house in the future :D

AND I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE JASLYN FOR HAVING A PUPPY.

nobody believes her anyway, haha!

gonna be fetching my aunt and cousin tmr at the airport!

though it's only a few days but i still do...

Aint the same?

mum told me because i haven't been back to penang for a year already,

all of them are taking turns to come singapore to visit me.

but not very true also, not exactly all...only a few out of so many many.

i miss all of them actually, haven't seen them for ages.

and i bet my two cute nephews forgotten me already :(

when i don't feel like going back, i have to.

when i badly feel like getting out of here, i can't.

sucks huh?

and i guess it's not really about who visits who...it's a totally different feeling to be here with them and to be there with them.

that 'sense of belongingness' isn't really embraced when they're over here.

so yeah, still very cooped up being stucked here. haha.

& i hope my voice faster comes back ahhh!

Because it's you,

The heart skipped a beat at the sound of the phone's vibration...

Goodnight and sweetest dreams.

a moment of freedom :)

yoyoyo exams are over baby! :D

so shiok de lo, when i handed in the last paper mwhahaha.

ok la, at least for now...or rather tonight i'm free from all studying!

heheeee.

but of course during this two weeks break i need to chiong to do all my projects.

it's horrible thinking of so much project to complete and rush for.

sigh, so equals to no break. but at least, free from school! :)

don't like my voice cos my was rather hoarse when i talk today.

sounded sexy but still, don't like. haha!

basically spent the day in school in that library room.

didn't really study cos we were talking rubbish.

joo's jelly beans go confiscated by the library ranger. erxin loh.

sososo, the paper was ok i guess.

my bloody eyes read one mcq wrongly! sianz.

but nevermind, one mark only.

hmmmmm. shall rest early tonight and get back my beauty sleep :)

the unconscious mind just kept saying, 'dont msg'.

I tell you the truth...

to tell you the truth, i am feeling so stony now.

to tell you the truth, i feel very sian cos my paper is only starting at 5pm -.-

to tell you the truth, i'm feeling better now from my flu and cough.

to tell you the truth, i have no motivation to study actually.

to tell you the truth, i can't wait for today to end cos it's the last paper.

and i tell you the truth, i woke up this morning with my first thought being you.

ok i better study later and get something into my head in the library and crap my way through during the paper.

BYEBYEBYE!

already thinking about you.

Northwest 378 miles away

i was resting most of my time today(instead of studying) cos i was still unwell.

was coughing like as if i'm gonna die any moment(not exaggerating).

first time falling sick during exam...sucks eh.

and i actually haven't really finished studying yet, hahaha.

OB is madness.

didn't have much appetite either and was resting after every short while of studying.

heh, not effective to study when you're sick at all man, i swear.

and the surprisingly weather today was so scorching hot,

thought i had a fever hurhur.

gonna sleep early tonight...need to rest :(

& maybe hope that days will pass faster? haha.

told myself not to touch or look at my phone from today until the next few days.

haha not easy stuff ok, inner controls are always tougher than outer controls.

wondering what and how are you doing...

current condition : still sick :(

so, econs paper over.

i didn't have time to finish it(sigh), missed out a graph and no time to think also.

last page was screwed as well...hmmm so there goes my A i guess?

oh well, don't matter, only 15% (like what our weird tutor said :x)

i was concentrating more on my nose than the paper loh, zzz.

just feel like resting and do nothing..hahah.

no need to study for ob paper on wed liao like that.

jaslyn says she's gonna be migrating and i find it so hard to believe and be convinced.

maybe until the time when she is really so serious about it then i will believe haha.

for the next three days!

will do it, got to control.

:'( blocked and runny nose with sore throat sucks.

oh dear i'm officially having sore throat and flu now :(

gosh, better hope i wake up tmr feeling fine!

The power of love.

so tired!!!

haiz i woke up very early, rushing and all to church.

climbed up five levels was like totally madness, i'm getting old.

so anyway, had cell and stuffs.

hope gideon finds it alright though, since his first visit to sit in. haha!

seriously very tired...want to sleep also can't sleep.

exam is like tmr and wed, still got to study.

wasn't feeling that well when i got home though.

and i think i'm going to have sore throat very soon...

and i think i'm really going to have flu soon too.

sianz.

i think i'm growing fat leh, how!

gotta do something already, cannot keep eating like nobody's business.

hurhur.

anw, seeing qad is always the best la seriously :D

just talking and feeling comfortable and happy and everything else,

as though the world only has us hehehe.

nothing can compare...right? :)))

rest assured, i know what to do.

sometimes it may be hard but i will for you.

no where better to be but in your arms

know it won't happen but i still wished the rain could stop coming so often ):

got drenched twice today and i better pray hard that i don't fall sick.

(although i'm starting to sneeze now..but maybe is cos ppl missing me, eheh!)

so...v v v v v sian and draining day ):

had been studying...sigh stress.

and had been eating as well!

like non-stop like that...i'm so getting fat already lar ):

can't wait for exams to be over, i'm so so tired.

don't know where my sleep go to sometimes.

i realised there are many ): above...

only :) thing today was qad! haha.

ok back to studying.

jiayou to me!

when ppl are stress,

sometimes the things they wear seems to stand out.

hahaha.

never felt this sian when i was going to school today morning.

ahah, oh well. sometimes things do get to the lowest point, don't they?

lessons as usual, then lunched with the ladies at tm.

can do nothing at ease with so much stuffs on mind...haha!

anyway, met up with some of my church peeps for dinner in town.

for the first time i was eating fishhh la, omggg.

i was thinking of having some other stuffs but apparently they only have mostly fishes :(

so end up just decided to go with it.

ok lah, at least i supported them and very coincidentally it was their restaurant's 11th birthday.

so somehow we heard many birthday songs and we even got some free desserts from them.

ahah, liked the ambience and setting there though.

although not everyone turned up but there will still be next times.

so yeah.

& audrey found a strand of white hair on me :(

so depressing lar.

ok, so there goes another day.

frustrated and irritated and abit demoralised.

mood was kind of spoilt la, this week like almost everyday like that.

like wth lor, i have limits one ok?!

socio class the tutor kept asking me so many qns -.-

somemore is those weird weird abstract/subjective ones.

psycho test was...zzz.

but good thing is it will be moderated i guess, so maybe can do even better.

wasn't easy for this year like the tutor said..even year 2 ppl won't get that kind of qns -.-

so oh well.

and here comes two major papers next week!

sighs.

can never get enough of sleep!

psycho test today and i am still desperately trying to study now...

so pathetic. hope i can do well :(

mum: wah playing game...so happy ah!

i am not at all loh -.-

boring and super cold day.

I have :

1. 15 modules of psychology to study and my test is tmr
2. one resume and cover letter to chiong finish by friday
3. OB paper to study for by wed
4. Econs paper to study for by mon

& many more to be listed after the above are over.

so horrible! T.T

My mind is always full, because you're always filling it up.

sigh, nothing seems to go well these few days.

it sucks big time, seriously.

i hope it'll end here...think it'll end here already la.

so sad and demoralised this morning cos of bcs test.

yesterday gtt also...sigh luckily socio still ok.

sianz, and then early morning today also made me so frantic.

what a wave of emotions.

thursday another test and i haven't study for it.

siannnnn, where got time...so busy with so much work -.-

So long,

here comes december!

november haven't been a good month i guess.

oh well.

how time flies this year huh?

anyway, so let me do my resolution for the last month of this year.

December's Resolutions:

• study hard for exam! (and hopefully do well)
• meet and chiong project deadlines
• meetups/outings/celebrations
• finish reading my book
• go shopping and get stuffs
• planning for next year(church matters)
• spend more time with qad? (but within qad's means)
• grow and deepen quality r/s ? :) ?

ok, bcs test laterrr!

bye.

siansation!

gtt and socio paper today.

so draining.

nothing much today, tired.

and was irritated with some ppl too.

still kind of feeling...you know.

-

sianz, damn lots of work to do.

this is why it sucks when tests come in and you still have to manage projects and school work.

madness.

Try not to at all, i really don't want you to.

Promise me that you will tell me if you ever do, ok?

I'll trust you.

I trusted you for it, I took months to do it.

And you broke it, just like that.

I still could remember the place where you said you wouldn't.

It was the first and most affirming promise you made.

You said never, because of me, because for me.

You said you would were no longer engaging in it.

You almost did once, but you thought of me, so you refrained.

I appreciated it till today, I really do.

I held it so strongly, so closely, so truly deep within me.

Sometimes I doubted because of your social circle and your past.

But I chose to have faith, to believe and not be shaken in thoughts.

I never knew you would never spare a thought or think for how I would react, how I would feel.

Am I that insignificant, that unimportant?

You never did bother or care when you did it.

Did you even feel any sense of guilt or wrong at the moment?

Where I am to you, What am I to you, Who am i to you?

You seemed so fine upon knowing. Do you know how serious it is?

You don't. You just thought it was ok, it is fine because it was just one p.

You thought I would be fine with it.

You underestimated. Please don't take my understanding for granted.

I don't think that you even know how badly this is.

It just takes a sentence to make someone build trust.

You didn't even give a damn or bother to let me know or to tell me or to ask me.

Do you respect me? Like I said before, you don't really take to heart things that meant so much to me, do you?

It was never easy because I am not there.

Do you know why I needed assurance in times like these?

You don't feel pain, do you?

I don't think you even take it seriously when I talked to you.

What good is it to be like everyone else, doing it because everyone is doing so?

Is it impossible to just say no?

What significance is it to just do it for once, what is the point?

Once.

Just that once of yours broke someone's heart.

Just that once of yours hurt someone deeply.

Just that once of yours caused disappointment, anger and tears.

Just that once.

Things would probably be better if I had known with you telling.

I had to find out myself, still unaware of anything before.

What if i never knew, would you do it again, thinking that I will not know?

What if i never knew, would you just let it pass thinking that it's nothing?

You would just pretend like nothing happened, and sweep in under the carpet, would you?

If you had even removed it, would you feel guilty and bad for doing so?

Have you even considered me a part?

A part of everywhere, everything, every moment?

You have your mindset and your perspective.

But have you ever tried to be sensitive and understand mine?

I don't think so.

It was just a puff, but it turned the whole sky grey.

i guess i'm much better now, not really feeling that way already.

:)

but i'm damn tired now omgzzzzzzz.

i...

i'm really speechless.

finally having my dinner now.

no breakfast and lunch today, hungry like crap.

was home alone for the entire day...trying to study and stuffs.

dropped the idea of going out cos was not really in the mood actually.

appreciated those who tried, but i guess it's just one of those roller coaster rides.

probably gonna be staying up late tonight, since somebody's owling as well.

i guess sometimes it's better to just keep quiet by myself.

Ftw, Fml.

like who on earth knows how much problems i have recently.

suppression don't really work all the time.

there are always reasons behind some of those unlikely actions.

that was definitely not the me whom i always am, definitely not.

i am conscious of the overwhelming talking and questions.

i admit the insecurity, and i just needed to feel affiliated and assured.

this is way hell stressing, with unintended frustration, pressure and worry.

and damn the amount of study i need to do.

STUDY DAY.

don't know how to describe today.

i intended to chiong today but apparently didn't even start the engine :(

oh well, distracted i guess.

so for tmr i am so going to be a hard core mugger and studyyy.

mwhahaha no time already, tests are on monday and i'm still like...zzz.

duty was very tiring and sian...but still endured it!

so for the next two weeks i won't have duty hehehe(cos of exams).

sigh so tired now...ok gonna sleep after reading one page of gtt.

i love you the same yesterday, today, and every tomorrow.

zzz.

sian.

it's always the best to see qad :D

i'm back home feeling v chao ta!!!

the weather's frrrreaking hot!

ok i shall try to be motivated to study now.

ob gtt econs psycho socio bcs here i comeeee!

good morning world although today is a public holiday i don't feel happy at all cos i've got tons of things to study for (i think i mentioned it yesterday...)

don't know what else should i look forward to now.

&hopethingswillbewellfordad.

draining dayyy, so tired now.

although the weekend is here already but i still have duty and alot of studying to do!!!

hmm, so what can i say?

y'know sometimes...things are just...well you know.

heard from joo that my ob paper's gonna be at 5pm -.-

just two words - damn sian!!!

seriously man, what is wrong with them???

i thought my o level english paper was the first and last paper which is starting in the evening.

and now...ugh.

anyway, had lunch at seoul garden with the ladies.

had been quite some time since we all come together to have a proper meal together.

haha, but pity sansan couldn't join us...but nvm, next time :)

so that was my lunch/dinner.

and they talked about me always feeling-hungry and never-full.

aiyaaa, it's just that my appetite big at the moment mah.

cos i was eating alot of ice creams and huiping was shocked that i could still eat so much lol.

so they suggested that i should go for ice cream buffet, haha!

fattening manzxzxz.

hmmmmmmm.

next two days are so going to be tiring, sigh.

stress's building uppp.

energy level : 30% .

sometimes i think i'm a total dreamer.

sooo like one. i was literally daydreaming & thinking of stupid stuffs on the way home.

ahah if only i could make thoughts come true...it'd be soooo awesome.

had a bad morning though...yeah.

and the journey to school was annoying as well.

had bcs mock test, quite lost at first but after tutor taught i sort of understood...

proud of myself for knowing how to do the formula! hehe although i tyco one =x

lunch kinda suck cos i didn't like the taste of that sauce...

initially i was damn hungry, then end up appetite lost cos of that.

cs was !@£$%^ -.-

to think that some tutor like her could talk so much crap and nonsense and not wanting to start our individual group lesson.

the five of us were like hinting her but she just kept going and going and... -.-

and you know what?

she said "oh ya shereen...the online forum discussion ar...you put so many repeated answers..."

so i went "ya but it was some technical error. i clicked Back page a few times so became like that." then you know what did she say?

"oh...i was thinking to myself, wah this person must be so attention seeking."

LIKE WHAT? attention seeking?!??!?!?! wtf please lor! -.-

urgh, for goodness sake, nobody would want to seek attention in that stupid school forum with only formal academic discussion.

then she went like "oh i'm just kidding..."

yeah whatever -.-

so anyway, came back home and received a shocking news.

don't know what to say already la.

anddd, some people just cannot be judged by cover.

wooootz, yesterday was sooo tiring when i reached home at around 12am :(

totally just sunk into my bed and slept...but sadly only 6.5 hours of sleep.

i think im gonna make up my next monday's duty on this coming friday.

since next week is starting to be full of tests i might as well just clear it now...

life seems to be forever busy!

Unfailing & unceasing

Be it the past, the present or the future,

my love will always remain.

today was elearning again for gtt & the last elearning until the next term.

which also gave me more reasons to skip ob lecture. hahaha!

okay lah, twice only, it's fine...next week onwards want also cannot already.

compared to last sem when i am forever skipping rht lecture is counted as good liao.

but although i told myself not to skip as far as i'm concerned, but you know what?

it's worthwhileee :) much much more than getting all distinctions.

yeap ♥

gotta go for duty now...kinda sian actually.

ohhh well.

mundaneee.

okay, feeling very sleepy now.

guess by waking up once or twice through the night doesn't make sleeping goes well.

met up with some of them for breakfast at redhill.

so the day went as usual, just that i felt less alive today.

hahaha probably cos exams are drawing near and my mind's kinda off so yeah.

and i don't like the unpredictable weather lately.

either it's super warm or it's super cold -.-

ssssuckkks.

today's just one of those ineffective days.

think i didn't sleep well or something, woke up feeling very heavy-headed.

did my psycho online test then did some work and went to rest and rot.

hahaha although there're alot of studying for me to do but apparently i was too sian to do so.

quite bad la i know, but ok only for today.

cos i was having a headache so that demotivated me even more.

and even though i had been taught on 'motivation' for three subjects in the past week,

didn't motivate me much somehow. haha!

oh well.

mum's coming back from malaysia tonighttt.

wonders if she brought back anything for me, haha.

sigh, was studying a few pages of gtt just now...

tempts me to go holiday :(

then the next moment i was on the net browsing through cruises and countries

-.-

aiya forget it la, just guai guai stay in singapore will do.

cos there's qad! hehe :D

so dreading monday man, seriously.

on a second thought, although i did wanted to switch blogger to wordpress,

but now i realise i'm too lazy to do so. hahaha!

needs alot of effort lar...so, i'll just stick to blogger. haha.

maybe just change my blogskin when if ever i have the time.

long day!

OB tutorial was damn fun cos my group was talking about quizzes and i was entertaining them with my psycho quizzes.
and we were all amused by all the stuffs and crap.
hahaha luckily didn't get caught for not being serious in class.

it was raining so heavily in the afternoon when i wanted to leave sch to do my airport pass.
but luckily saw pingchong and cab there together with adeline.

most of the seniors were there anyway.
had a superbly sian and boring time there waiting and stuffs.
calvin came and i got teased once again la..always bully me -.-
but anw finally got my pass! abit happy la, like 'officially' part of the airport group...

although for one year only but still...a year of recognition also not that bad uh.

& poor panther, qad must be so pissed with the other person loh.

but well, hope qad won't be too sian about it!

finally the week is over but still, need to start studying and projecting and sch working.

sigh, sigh and more sighs.

i'm sososo tired...waiting for msg...

someone's sosososo soooo busy.

can i don't go to school today?

obviously no :(

Efforts.

irritated at the airport division people.

went there to make airport pass, but waiting time was 2 freaking hours!

and i had lecture so we couldn't do it, had to go back there again on friday.

sighhh, i really hate this kind of troublesome things.

so anyway, short but draggy day.

hated the rain cos my econs book is now so drenched :(

but i'm glad cos i finished my first part of bcs project! :)

it's sooooo sickening. need a short rest first before i continue the final phase some other time.

alot of tests are coming in so sigh, gotta do alot of studying alr.

oh, and i'm also disgusted by some desperate people.

bcs was just as boring, and i have to edit a whole lot of my bcs project.

sigh, stress.

had cs test in the afternoon.

the theory part was a goner, told us don't have theory in the end still come out zzz.

oh well, but hope i did ok for the paper.

ruby bought something for me today though, nice of her :)

very very tired uhhh.

Five things i shall do today:

1. stop thinking about how tired i am.

2. survive through bcs lesson(ughh...)

3. use all my energy and brain cells for cs test!

4. start studying and stop procrastinating!(like yesterday)

5. just be myself.

i shouldn't doubt myself, i really need more motivation.

An emo post.

it's a very grey day today.

i feel so, so sad.

i dislike myself today. totally.

i didn't want to, i just couldn't help it.

i don't deny, it was really quite ridiculous of me.

at least i'm very conscious and aware...i know.

it wasn't what i intended to be. never.

and this really impacted me alot.

maybe it is common for girls to be like that,

but i don't want to be like any of them.

even if this may just of one of the very few times,

but i don't want to even have any more times.

i want this to be the last time...i want hardly to become never.

i will try my best to, really.

previously it had always been you apologising.

for once i was the one saying it now.

i'm sorry.

thank you for taking in my nonsense.

thank you for giving in to my crap.

thank you for still responding nicely.

thank you for accepting me.

I delight in loving you.

i hate jams man...especially when i'm like rushing for time or going somewhere.

my next year resolution for sundays is to be punctual alr!

the past week had been hectic...in some way.

and here comes another week again...with more tests coming in alr.

though i've been chionging so much projs and stuffs i'm still not very motivated yet uh.

it's just like the fifth week of school and i'm already quite drained?

so sian, mountains of workload.

mum's flying off tmr morning!

wished i could go too(to escape from schoolwork), haha.

sighhh what a day.

woke up early today and had been doing school work until like now...?

lousy right, i know. so much things to do uhhhh :(

i seriously can't stand it lah, i don't know what the heck they want.

it is annoying cos you end up not knowing how to do and what to do.

and then you just start to rant and get stuck but nothing ever happens.

freaking sian.

but anw qad's nice call made me feel better :)

so anyway, i'm still doing my stupid excel project.

gonna sleep after i finish the formulas which are giving me splitting headaches.

what's the point of having tutorials when we don't even learn anything huh.

and i still have tests to study for arrrrrr.

zzz.

i think i'm going to postpone doing my socio project to next week liaooo.

I am irritated and frustrated.

Sick of all these bloody projects.

Some things that can be counted may not count,

But some things that can't be counted really counts.

econs tutorial never fail to make me -.- & laugh at the same time.

he is damn ridiculous la...i seriously feel like fainting at every cold things he says.

haha so joker one loh...and he relates every econs thing to love -_-"

school had ccn day today, also known as some fund day...

tp really don't seem like a school sometimes, hurhur.

so after school at about noon different classes set up their stalls to earn funds.

our class didn't do anything so tada, we were free after lesson ends.

went to patrol around with a few of them, supported andre's class by helping them to buy food.

but i thought it was still quite salty lehhh, melody needs more skills haha :P

so uh, walked around and i don't like it cos it was very crowded in the whole campus.

btw james bought a rose for alanna and gave it to her infront of so many ppl today.

like awwwwww. i admire his courage as a guy. really brave, haha.

went to town later on to collect back my dearest phone :)

wanted to shop but no time so dropped the idea.

had early dinner at town with the two and came home, very very tired.

and still, i have hills and mountains of school work to do!!!

sigh to the power of infinity.

1. gtt blog post

2. excel proj

3. cs test

4. ob tut & proj

5. econs tut

6. psycho test & tut

7. socio tut & movie proj

i'd be glad if i could chiong finish at least half this weekend.

super long day, zzz.

and i'm extremely tired.

sleeeeeeep!

less busy day but workload still as much.

first time going to the cable tv section in the library today.

but it's quite pathetic la, cos there are only sports channels...

no wonder guys are always seen there.

did some admin stuffs before going for lecture and that's about my wednesday.

love the cool weather. hope it rains tonight, v nice to sleep :)

omg i'm so demoralised.

i just finished two online quizzes on psycho and my results suck :(

sighhhh very chim leh.

i met qad todayyy :D ♥♥♥

was feeling v sian and moody in school today :(

just felt like sitting there and doing nothing only.

bcs was once again soooo boring, but at least today was a little better.

the lab blacked out halfway, hahaha *grins*

but apparently he still continued to teach -_-"

well at least it wasn't that bad cos we just sat there pretending to listen.

discussed about group projects then after that the power came back to had to do excel again :(

i really dread it to the max...and on top of that i still have a project to do on it.

sigh, life can't be any in campus, seriously.

the rest of the day was still o-k...spent the second half of the noon with joo and jas.

so blah blah blah, i dozed off on the bus back from tampines.

everything's so heavy la...

my body, my head, my bag, my hands and my school work!

i should really get serious this week and get all my tests done and study for my test next week and starting doing and planning my projects.

i'm dead tired now and i just want to bomb to my lovely tempting alluring bed.

i think from next month onwards i'm gonna eat some food that can boost energy...

life in singapore is hectic and busy like nobody's business uhhh.

ok goodnight.

longest sunday ever! i spent my whole day in church today manz.

apparently we didn't know that there were no morning cc,

so sigh, woke up super early and got to church super early,

then ended up no cc, so the four of us decided to go have breakfast at tanglin.

and i had two breakfasts today!!! cos at first i dapao over cos i was alr running late,

then ended up we have an "official" breakfast -_-"

but it was ok lar, we had alot to talk about...interesting stuffs happening lately. haha.

then service, brought the preteens up to the youth side and stuffs.

lunched and had work plan meeting.

wah it was very long...felt so drained after the whole thing.

and shivering also cos very cold inside there haha!

did some planning for next year...so yeah.

it feels very different when i'm like..in church, in school, at home, or with different groups of people. the feelings are all just very different. or maybe the atmosphere ba? i don't know.

but whatever the case, it's still best to be with someone whom you're totally comfortable with la...i think it's what that really determine how you actually feel in that environment.

went to fareast flora with aud after that cos she had to get something.

the flowers there are beautiful man...really beautiful...all the roses and tulips.

see already also will feel very warm at heart, haha.

anyway, so after that aud's dad gave me a lift home.

and i'm glad for that cos if not i won't know how sian will i get when i reach home.

sigh it's monday tmr again.

sian...school work dominating again.

sososo tired, i want to sleep sooooooon.

Even without words, you know in my heart that i'd always be supporting you.

You've learnt, shereen.

:)

goodnight world,

know that every night before you sleep there'd be someone thinking of you.

gosh so drained.

wonder how to survive when tests come.

i feel effective today cos i was chionging my work despite feeling very sleepy and all.

never ending things to do!

alright i've decided after a week.

i'm gonna switch to wordpress next year :)

need time and effort to move stuffs over and get used to it.

so tada.

and i'm shocked that my neice is on facebook, gasp x 100000.

she's only...9 yrs old or so? and she has a fb account -_-"

i bet she has that just to play games.

i feel like stoning my day away but sigh!

TGIF? Nah not really.

I think i had been a very hungry person this week :(

Always hungry but somehow always can't get to eat.

And i've been eating alot of vegetarian food :O

School had been really tiring and everything's rolling in!

I have online tests every week now!!! plus other many many stuffs.

& I really don't like BCS -.-

I hope next week will be better though.

Tired.

currently in school now, aloneeee somemore. *big sighs*
don't know why on earth am i the only one in class who got psycho -.-
but rk asked me to go lec with him later so ahah, at least have someone i know :)
anyway, tutorial class ended slightly earlier so now got breaktime before i go my lecture soon.
so came to library to "chill" out first....later reach home just prepare and sleep already.
(which also explains why i am blogging now.)

super long day today...though started school at eleven but still...zzz.
sociology class was amusing.
there was a guy who was presenting and he said "my friend told me due to statistics, those who are have active sex life tend to be smarter and better in studies."
then the tutor said "SO HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN MY A1s WHEN I WAS STILL A VIRGIN?!"
(everyone laughed).
then tutor continued, " in the past, students need peace to study. then later, they go to changi airport, cos they want to study in groups. then, they need ipods to accompany. so now you tell me what do students need to get As???"
the class answered, "sex!!! hahaha!"
tutor went " -_____- "
hilarious, but ok lah, the class was just teasing anyway.

sigh so tired...still have lecture at 6.
ok gtg, sian!!!

Econs day.

Shopping was good with the ladies, although it was a very short one :)

I seriously think i need to go shopping some fateful day,

cos i really need to get alot of things.

My dear phone is still under repair.

I don't like it cos it had been two weeks, ineffective people.

Hp told me I seem like those girl who is very steadfast and devoted as a lover.

so, i take that as a compliment hehe :)

& tmr's thursday...sigh, long day.

i feel very sleep deprived today, so that didn't really make my day any better.

i think not only am i dreading thursdays, i'm so not liking tuesdays either.

BCS is totally zzzz, i rather sit for a three hour lecture than to go for a three hour lab session.

i guess we probably flipped almost fifty pages of the excel textbook during the exercises.

and it's horrible. it strains the eyeeee +.+

and it's brain draininggg.

cs was not interesting either, hurhur.

san and me literally stoned our time away(with joo and lyn) after that in the library.

hahaha thinking of it we ought to be guilty lah,

cos we were supposed to go home and do the more important stuffs.

ahah oh well, shall chiong tmr then.

i think i've been eating alot of ice creams this month.

but according to psychology i don't seem to be extremely happy.

hahaha! whatever.

well i guess some things are better left unsaid.

we just take it and go with the flow.

sometimes, we never get to understand some things anyway.

friends...who says they are not complicated?

extremely tired now...back from cya duty.

but i still have work to do, how miserable can my life get.

You and only you.

So tiring.

I think i'm becoming more and more quiet at home ever since school started.

Probably due to the sian-ness or something...the don't-feel-like-talking mood.

But actually i thought i had been always like this...

which is why my parents had been saying that I'm very "reserved".

It's just me i guess...but maybe even more conscious of myself now.

Very tempted to game, arghhhh.

I am thinking of not using blogger anymore.

Instead, I think i want to use wordpress.

I just want a change or something i guess...need to "upgrade".

But i'm not sure when i want to switch over.

Should i do it now, or beginning of next year?

Should i even switch?

Still thinking about it, I can't decide :(

November's Resolutions:

I shall skip this month's resolutions 'cause basically i have nothing much to write except more and more school work.

Only love let us see normal things in an extraordinary way.

I feel very pathetic today. I think i'm quite inefficient today :(

Despite knowing I have like tons of things to do,

I still stoned my time here and there.

I guess i seriously really need motivation.

But it's really depressing when you have so much sian work to do :'(

Ok, enough complains shereen.

I just feel that my weekends are worse than my weekdays somehow.

Or maybe equally terrible.

I am only doing work on weekends because i have no time on weekdays.

Maybe that's not an excuse but I'm tired almost every weekday...

so that makes a better excuse :)

I have alot of readings, tutorials and projects to be done still.

I should wake up earlier right...but then i just wanted to sleep a lil longer.

Maybe i shouldn't have gone for lunch with mum and cousin...

but then again nan de my mum wants to treat us to dim sum so we went.

I didn't know hokkien's mee sua is dried until today -_-"

I thought it was bee hoon???

Ok goodnight I'm going to sleep.

i like studio apartments.

maybe i'll get one in the future if i'm rich enough :)

& my mum said i should because i do everything in my room -_-"

actually right, i think i'm quite dao at home.

don't know why...maybe busy or sian?

Forever You Will Be My One and Only.

today's the most tiring day of my week, zzz.

i left house super early and was in a major rush.

my mum called me at 8plus to ask if i was kidnapped -_-"

nice joke but wasn't really funny.

i still thought she'll think that i run away from home, haha!

but lovely morning anyway :)

oh well. tutorials all the way today, totally sian.

the econs tutor was -.- i think he could be some potential clown in the circus.

his entertainment level was awkwardly high.

ob tutor has the very science-face, and i think she likes my name cos she kept calling shereen -.-

then i pathetically went for psycho lecture alone!!!

met some sec' sch mates in there and one of my psycho proj grp member was there and she waved at me.

and upon only seeing her once, i stared at her and went, "uh hi?"

then i realised it was her, then i went "oh it's you again!"

sigh, kinda dumb.

and psycho's quite chim...i think i'm gonna spend alot of time on it :(

met up with hp after that to do some admin stuffs in school.

after that i accompanied her to tm cos i wanted to go out and walkwalk also.

she bought some belts and guess what?

she made me tried on some clothes...lol i don't know why but she just wanted to see the "different" me?

cos she claimed that i should "dressed up" to school instead of being so simple everyday.

i told her wasn't a need la...it's just school anyway.

well anyway i guess she'll feel this way probably cos she saw me wearing a tube dress before outside school days and she was stunned by me but yet she never did see that me ever again HAHA.

so tried on some as she insisted..ok just for the fun of it and to fulfill her "wish".

had a long journey back home.

then wq suddenly asked me to go down to meet her when i was home.

so ended up meeting her to get my very belated gift from someone else.

and i was shocked when she asked me for dinner cos i wore until super sui bian.

but end up still pei and waited for her to eat...while hearing her ranting over her iphone.

until today then i realised that my impression to her was "the girl who always smiles to herself in class." OMG, that is so retarded can!

it has got to be cw's fault la, seriously :P

ok back to serious stuffs.

i've alot of deadly work to do for the weekend and it's going to be so sian.

and other than that, i'd also be thinking of qad. wahaha!

:) >>> for you.

very long and tiring day...damn tired now actually.

but apparently not sleeping yet...doing school work in the meanwhile.

i don't like to do work at night actually...cos i don't have the habit of doing so.

and i'm very tired...so won't have the mood either.

the thought of all the projects and work really very sian...sigh.

cya duty starting next week also, double siansation.

no life again.

as much as the heart wished to but couldn't,

i'd still want the best for you and it'll be fine enough to me.

:)

nothing-much day but happy that my precious's polished :)

i think i need more motivation for school work.

feel so stony...sianz.

hope it doesn't rain later.

& tomorrow.

i may not say it, but i need it.

lifeless dayyy.

bcs was totally boring until i am too sian to talk about it.

i don't mind but i really can't stand three stupid hours doing and listening to the same thing!

excel is annoying, i wasn't really paying full attention today morning so i ended up being very blur and kept asking what to do next. sigh.

rotted around until cs lesson then went to meet tutor.

some stuffs happened in between...zzz. oh well.

i can't stand lily's way of talking...she just goes on and goes and goes one big round just to say one point. sigh, i hate to complain about stuffs but i...ok maybe i'm just too sian.

went to tm to eat after that and went home.

alot of projects to do uhhh...haiz.

it's okay if you don't say anything,

'cause without you telling i'd know.

it's okay if the day was bad,

i'll try to make you feel better.

it's okay to feel down in the dumps,

i'll assure you that there will be better tomorrows.

it's okay to meet crossroads in life,

i'll be there with you through.

Jiayou,

I'll always stand by you.

Suan le.

I just wanted to make you feel better but end up getting a cold shoulder.

I just wanted to show my effort and sincerity but end up getting shut off.

I just wanted to make the best out of circumstances but end up getting hurt.

I just wanted to.

your attitude at that moment really broke me.

kinda suck to reach home late on a monday...doesn't end the day off nicer in any way.

nothing interesting today though..boring and sian and tiring...simply mundane.

1. another project on
2. ate in between breaks cos nothing better to do
3. tried twitter using joo's account and i thought it was quite amusing but quite wu liao also
4. "dragged" the girls out of the library cos i wanted to eat ice cream

boringgg.

i want to sleep.

Because I'm sure,

Nothing could make me love you lesser.

extremely tired today and especially now...could just fall asleep any moment.

don't know why...maybe used up too much brain cells.

& i'm craving for ice creeeeeam!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIM SANSAN :D

& pls be more normal!

-

some of the photos taken recently ;

bbq at grace's place some time ago

my contribution to the bbq during camp :P

all of 'em

the kids who are under me!

helpers at the chalet :)

during lunch on one of the sundays

two bbqs in a month...gosh, so fattening.

did schoolwork today at home.

& i forgot what to do for socio's tutorial...hurhur.

home sweet home :)

yes, after three days at aloha changi chalet i'm finally back home.

seriously very drained out and tiring.

had been v busy helping out and stuffs.

helped to facilitate in their activities, take care of them and look after 'em.

i taught my group three lessons as well!

hmm, and i also helped some of the teachers in the kitchen! hehe.

and helped the pastors with some work too.

very proud of myself manzxzxz :D

yesterday was tiring cos i went to school from 11 and went back around evening.

was very sleep deprived cos the kids refused to sleep -_-"

so stayed up to read up my notes and prepare for lessons to them as well.

luckily i brought my jacket along cos i was like right under the aircon when sleeping.

had a good time with everyone though...many bonded with me, hehehe.

got to know more about the rest as well also la,

and spent a little more time in the church family.

i think i've no problems living with others after this experience over there, haha! :P

so anyway, i'm currently using some other phone now which is kind of guy-ish to me...

i mean really, i think only guys use this. so so not me lah.

but no choice...went to repair my hopeless phone today in town after the chalet ended.

i was having a very difficult time figuring out how to use the phone la...

i'm never a nokia user, and frankly i don't really like to use nokia phones.

so yeah...took me ages to send a proper msg cos i'm very not used to it.

but it's okay, within two weeks i'll get back my phone!

in the meantime i guess my sms will be even shorter than ever, ha!

went to shop around awhile at town after that...with two big heavy bags -_-"

then went to do some servicing later on, and i can't wait to get it polished ^^

had been wanting to do so some time earlier actually,

but the thought of not having it with me feels weird...so kept dragging.

but i thought i wanted to maintain and keep it nice and refined you see...

cos it's v significant to me, and probably the most mattered possession to me.

so yeah. :D

met up with the ladies for lunch at marina,

and i was feeling so dead tired, but still gave face to limsansan loh! :P

but after that i went home cos i really wanted to rest.

so yes, time to really get serious for school now.

next week onwards the timetable's gonna be fully on & it just sucks.

i have loads of tutorials to do and projects as well.

sigh! so the mood has to be there already!

& i thought probably i should go and get a printer...

i can't possibly always rely on yeejoo,

and the school's printing system really sucks now cos we're not allowed to use thumb drives -.-

sickening invention they came up with that is annoying cos it's totally not effective now.

but changing the ink cartridge is also pretty expensive leh...aiya see how.