Life's revolution

Was at Sepang yesterday. Lol extremely tiring trip with a sick body.

I guess life's always changing. We always never thought that we would end up with what we are now back then. I never thought that I would end up not going to university and started working. I never thought that I'd be working and doing what I am now. I never thought my rice bowl would revolve around motorsports. But I guess I'm lucky enough because I don't hate cars and I didn't mind learning about cars from the start. Maybe when I was young I already liked cars...but oh well, never thought I am actually having to be so much into it now. Maybe if I was ambitious and younger I would have went to become a racer and get myself famous, haha. Never thought that my life would actually turn out to be like what it is today.

People always call me a workaholic. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing but the truth is, I am who I am not because I choose to be, but I have to be. Too many underlying reasons for this...but all I can say is, nobody really understands why - and they tend to make such statements or judgements about me. But well, I'm not bothered really.

I used to love holidays but now I'm very restless about it. I know I can't blame anyone but myself for some things in life that I find myself feeling so bitter, but sometimes I hate myself that life's so unfair to me. So contradicting right. Don't know why but I'm starting to feel all alone as usual. Ok I have to admit, I am always alone. I'm not being emo here, just being practical about my sad life.

Actually to be honest here, I'm still struggling hard after the last incident where I was left cheated badly. I really don't know how to recover myself from it. Everytime I would get paranoid and unsure about some things. I choose to trust, but...perhaps I need some assurance...or perhaps I'm just deprived of too many things I could have in life.

Sigh, how to ever be happy?