Till today, I'm always learning something new about you, understanding you more each day - in the good times and the bad. I want to understand you and even though I felt like I understand you the most, and yet everyday I learn something new about you. No matter how weak or how broken you are, I have always been here accepting you for who you are. Perhaps now you may start to close up, but I really hope one day you will be able to open up to someone whom you can share your life with, everything with, like we used to be.
Thinking back about the past many years, it was an extremely amazing journey with you. Even after the first break-up we had, I never knew you would come back to me saying how much you realised you love me and it was so true and real. We stuck around each other after countless times, hanging on, trying on, just because of our love. We've been through so much together, through thick and thin, through so much adversities, challenges, happy moments - we experienced so much over the years and we grew so much together. For all the pain and hurt I've been through, yes it wasn't all-happy because of our situation but I really appreciated all your efforts, your love, your time and your heart. Thank you for loving me, being with me, and spending the most wonderful times of our lives together. I wouldn't have stayed until now if I was really found no tinge of happiness. I was willing, out of love, for you. I really don't mind living and building a future of our own from ground zero, from scratch. I don't mind if you earn a lot or earn less. I am willing to work hard together with you, to live our lives together and grow old together happily. I believe you could do it and I am more than happy to be there alongside with you to walk the journey together like we've always been. But I guess you don't see it that way or don't feel the same as me. Maybe one day you will talk to me when you are ready if needed, if not, it's also ok.
After everything, through the storms and rain, I felt like somehow we were meant to be, fated to meet, destined in this life. But maybe I was wrong, now that you tell me we can only be friends. My life is such a joke. Since this is the ending, I hope you know that you were the best I've ever had. Thank you for everything, thank you for being in my life and letting me be in yours - if there is no eternity, I'm really thankful that we had such an awesome journey together before. You will always hold a very special place in my heart, you will never be forgotten. I hope now as we be friends, we will be happy and good friends, and me - I'll always be there for you.
I guess you are feeling very emotionally drained now, going through all these things repeatedly everyday, I really wish I could do something or anything to make you feel better. I understand you and I want to continue doing so if you let me.
I've come to realise (and probably accepted) the fact that there are many things that cannot be explained, no whys to it and simply cannot be understood. There were so many things that I couldn't understand, don't know why, and now I've told myself that - no need to understand, there's no why so no need to know. There's nothing to understand why things are they way they are. Humans are complicated with emotions, things just happen and we are constantly put into all these life lessons that we are supposed to learn from, grow from, face and come out of it stronger and better than before. It's only us who can come out of ourselves, our lives. And I hope you will be able to do so on your own. I'll always be behind you.
If you don't want to tell me anything, it's ok, I won't ask anymore. I hope it makes you feel better. I hope my presence, my company, and me alone will make you feel happy or comfortable. I'm ok with just being there with you, even in silence, if it helps.
I know that right now in this current state, you are totally not in the mood for anything. Had enough of relationships and do not want to even think about it or get into it. You are not ready and you won't be ready any sooner. It's more important now for you to get back on track in life, and find stability for yourself and depend on yourself from now on. I totally understand and I will be there for you too. I do not wish to cause you any burden, or unnecessary stress.
You want to be friends, then lets really be friends bah. I will do my best to be your friend.
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