Back to the future

I'm back here again after 3 years. We meet again, my dear diary.

I found myself coming back to where I had always been - here in my lonely little comfort zone. This is probably the only place that I can really let out how I feel, how I think and what I want to say - in such a silence.

Many years have past, and as I read through all my past memories and my blog entries, I had really no idea I was so fucking emotional as I am today. Every blog post was a story written from the bottom of my heart, all my heartfelt emotions and feelings penned down over so many years everyday...I was so proud of myself for being strong, I was also unbelievably shaken by how much I have been through alone. I am surprised at the things I've said because I never knew I could actually say those things lol, but the words that came from me were so genuine...they were all so real.

Here I am today, finding myself probably more emotional than before, filled with so much scars, hurt, pain and misery. I came back to my blog more broken than ever, seeking comfort in the midst of my own loneliness. The past month was so painful. My mind consumed me. I cared so much, too much. I loved too deeply, too hopelessly. My life seems to always be in this unending whirlwind of traumatic emotions. Sometimes words cannot even express how I really feel deep within me.

I'm glad that I did not delete my blog which holds so much precious moments of my life here. I am even more thankful that it still exists today.

I'm back...to who I always have been all my life. The one who cries silent tears, the one who is always alone, the one whose soul is always empty. This has always be me from the beginning, and it's time I am coming back to my closet self. Thank you for embracing me here because nothing else could.